Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Older people often say the life was better in the past than it s now Do you think it is right or wrong Give your reasons and provide relevant examples v.2

Older people often say the life was better in the past than it s now Do you think it is right or wrong Give your reasons and provide relevant examples v. 2
the older people feel that the life in the past was better than that we live today. I perceive that this view is true. This could be because of the economic and financial burden, overuse of technology as well. Albeit, the economic growth as well as caring for creating and utilizing technology reveal the level of community development and welfare, they have counter-productive consequences. The economic load leads the people to be workaholic, they have no time for family as well as leisure and social activities, so they get stressed and nervous. Additionally, this economic burden has caused a noticeable alteration in the individual qualities. To illustrate, workers in corporations become greedy and envious of their colleagues' s promotions or salaries raise, resulting in the relationships among people get worse since they aren' t cooperative as it' s desired. Thus I believe that the life in the past was perfect. similarly, the technology over-consuming has made the younger isolated from the social interaction that blisses the Person via spending some time with people and friends as in the past. They spend extra time in front of the screens of e-devices like, tablet, laptop, and smart phone which create an introvert persons who can' t communicate with the others and make friends. Therefore I agree that people lived simply and happily in the past. To reiterate, I believe that the past life was calmer and more precious than the modern life due to the economic stabilization, simplicity of low-technology life. It is hoped that some of the spirit of the past could be retrieved to improve our recent life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
was better than that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. I perceive that this view is true. This could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
and financial burden, overuse of technology
as well
.

Albeit, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth
as well
as caring for creating and utilizing technology reveal the level of community development and welfare, they have counter-productive consequences. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
load leads the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be workaholic, they have no time for family
as well
as leisure and social activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and nervous.
Additionally
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
burden has caused a noticeable alteration in the individual qualities. To illustrate, workers in corporations become greedy and envious of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
colleagues&
#039; s promotions or salaries raise, resulting in the relationships among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse since they
Possible spelling mistake found.
aren&
#039; t cooperative as
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s desired.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
was perfect.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
, the technology over-consuming has made the younger isolated from the social interaction that
Possible spelling mistake found.
blisses
the Person via spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and friends as in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. They spend extra time in front of the screens of e-devices like, tablet, laptop, and smart phone which create an introvert
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "person"?
persons
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t communicate with the others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
simply
and
happily
in the past.

To reiterate, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was calmer and more precious than the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
stabilization, simplicity of low-technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
is hoped
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
spirit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
could
be retrieved
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Older people often say the life was better in the past than it s now Do you think it is right or wrong Give your reasons and provide relevant examples v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts