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Older people often say that their life is better in the past than now v.1

Older people often say that their life is better in the past than now v. 1
Millennia have passed and lots of changes had occurred in contemporary's nature compared to the past. Elders believe that the world was a better place to live in the past rather than current, because in many ways like technology picture of the world is new and different. I appreciate the thoughts of older people what they feel and believe it's true. Nowadays, elder people are facing many obstacles because of busy and hard going growth, which changed the living and thinking style of the new generation. When older were younger they was working hard for achievements and goal, but the style of working was different easy and having time to spend with family. In contemporary's earth way of thinking and working have been changed, while working hard they want to achieve name and fame in society. Satisfaction seems far away and more burden will create more effect and stress to mind. In past people was enjoying their growth while working on fulfilling the dreams of their family, even though way of thinking, living and also in the matter of health it was better than contemporary. It is very realistic to see that people of the current's era tend to run behind money and fame to maintain their status in society. In these fast life people forget how to live and maintain their health and it create and many health problems like obesity heart problems and many more. People only believe in gaining goals and money, in past people only wanted to live their life with ease and comfort rather than establishing status in society. In the present - day's nation, people are behaving like a hungry, which will never obsolete. It concludes that old is gold and as per time growth style and behaviour will change dramatically with technologies and development. In future older people life seems difficult because they could not accept or digest those changes.
Millennia have passed and lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
had occurred in contemporary's nature compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Elders believe that the world was a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways like technology picture of the world is new and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. I appreciate the thoughts of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
what they feel and believe it's true.

Nowadays, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of busy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
going growth, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the living and thinking style of the new generation. When older were younger they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for achievements and goal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
easy and having time to spend with family. In contemporary's earth way of thinking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
they want to achieve name and fame in society. Satisfaction seems far away and more burden will create more effect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to mind. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was enjoying their growth while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on fulfilling the dreams of their family,
even though
way of thinking, living and
also
in the matter of health it was better than contemporary.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
realistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
's era tend to run behind money and fame to maintain their status in society. In these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and maintain their health and it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems like obesity heart problems and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
believe in gaining goals and money, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and comfort
rather
than establishing status in society. In the present
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
day's nation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are behaving like a hungry, which will never obsolete.

It concludes that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is gold and as per time growth style and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
dramatically
with technologies and development. In future older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life seems difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could not accept or digest those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Older people often say that their life is better in the past than now v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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