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In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both? v.1

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both? v. 1
As more of us move back and forth in our everyday lives, the question of settling in one or multiple places during a person’s lifetime is becoming increasingly topical. Both viewpoints have merits and drawbacks, which will be discussed now. Arguably the main benefit of spending a person’s entire life in one specific point is an increasingly stronger sense of community, which somehow plays a crucial part of people’s fulfillment in this world. For instance, being surrounded by great neighbors, friends and family members, a man could truly live and enjoy every moment of his life in terms of generosity and kindness. Thus it can lead to a better quality of life for individuals and the community as a whole. By contrast, there are also some negatives of such lifestyle, foremost among them is the feeling of boredom due to repeated exposure with local landscapes or acquaintances, this could perhaps erase the idea of settling in one area throughout a person’s existence on Earth. However, those who choose to travel and explore many thousand parts of the world claim that this way of living offers a wider range of benefits, due to factors of globalization and economical flights. These merits range from relaxation, broadening one’s horizon to amazing experiences that could never happen in people’s everyday lives. A friend of mine, for example, quitted his full-time position as a clerical staff and decided to become a travel-writer, in which he is able to earn quite huge sums to make end meet and simultaneously please his eyes with stunning views and magnificent landscapes such as mountainous areas in Himalaya or remote islands in the middle of the ocean. Despite such powerful arguments, a traveller might find himself be in a dilemma which could put an end to his lifelong journey. Examples can be seen in cases of people being robbed or mugged in completely strange places. For these people, travelling concept could be a nightmare which might obsess them for the rest of their lives. In conclusion, it appears that notions of residing in one place or many places throughout people’s lifetime have both advantages and disadvantages, which make choices in life more challenging and time-consuming.
As more of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
back and forth in our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, the question of settling in one or multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
during a person’s lifetime is becoming
increasingly
topical. Both viewpoints have merits and drawbacks, which will
be discussed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Arguably
the main benefit of spending a person’s entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in one specific point is an
increasingly
stronger sense of community, which somehow plays a crucial part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
fulfillment in this world.
For instance
,
being surrounded
by great neighbors, friends and family members, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
could
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and enjoy every moment of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in terms of generosity and kindness.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it can lead to a better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for individuals and the community as a whole. By contrast, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives of such lifestyle, foremost among them is the feeling of boredom due to repeated exposure with local landscapes or acquaintances, this could perhaps erase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of settling in one area throughout a person’s existence on Earth.

However
, those who choose to travel and explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
thousand parts of the world claim that this way of living offers a wider range of benefits, due to factors of globalization and economical flights. These merits range from relaxation, broadening one’s horizon to amazing experiences that could never happen in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. A friend of mine,
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitted
his full-time position as a clerical staff and decided to become a travel-writer, in which he is able to earn quite huge sums to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
simultaneously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
his eyes with stunning views and magnificent landscapes such as mountainous areas in Himalaya or remote islands in the middle of the ocean. Despite such powerful arguments, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
might find himself be in a dilemma which could put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to his lifelong journey. Examples can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being robbed
or mugged in completely strange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, travelling concept could be a nightmare which might obsess them for the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, it appears that notions of residing in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
throughout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifetime have both advantages and disadvantages, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more challenging and time-consuming.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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