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In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions? v.3

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions? v. 3
In recent times professional sports became more popular. More and more people pursuing any sport as their career profession. In such a scenario, it often seems that the players have been starting to use a foreign substance to boost their performance. This essay shall discuss what are the reasons causing this phenomenon and provide a solution for the same. To begin with, most athletes using a banned substance to maintain their physical health. The athlete is doing this to maintain their performance consistently. For that, they use and feed their bodies with foreign particles which helps them to stay energetic on fields. For example, energy tablets are being used widely by sports players to improve their gameplay, but it has side-effects. This can be solved by eating a healthy diet and foods. Research has shown that such practice leads to improvement in player growth. Another reason why banned material usage increasing is players competition have increased. In most of the game, number of the position in the team or even in the tournament are less, therefor sportsmen began to use foreign elements to secure their place. The solution for this is simple, health checkup in a team or in the event must be done fairly to expose such player and aware them to stop ruining their career and of others. In conclusion, it can be said that in order to reduce the use of the banned substance by the players, they must be encouraged to eat a healthy diet and also establish a medical system to ensure the condition of the players. By this sportsmanship can be maintained in each profession.
In recent times professional sports became more popular. More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
pursuing any sport as their career profession. In such a scenario, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
seems that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
have been starting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a foreign substance to boost their performance. This essay shall discuss what are the reasons causing this phenomenon and provide a solution for the same.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most athletes using a banned substance to maintain their physical health. The athlete is doing this to maintain their performance
consistently
. For that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and feed their bodies with foreign particles which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to stay energetic on fields.
For example
, energy tablets are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
widely
by sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their gameplay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
. This can
be solved
by eating a healthy diet and foods. Research has shown that such practice leads to improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
growth.

Another reason why banned material usage increasing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
competition have increased. In most of the game, number of the position in the team or even in the tournament are less, therefor sportsmen began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
foreign elements to secure their place. The solution for this is simple, health checkup in a team or in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
fairly
to expose such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
and aware them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
ruining their career and of others.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the banned substance by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
to eat a healthy diet and
also
establish a medical system to ensure the condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. By this sportsmanship can
be maintained
in each profession.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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