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Often when people move overseas where the culture is different from their own, they tend to gravitate towards people from their own country who speak the same language and share the same culture. Discuss some of the problems related to this lack of integra v.2

Often when people move overseas where the culture is different from their own, they tend to gravitate towards people from their own country who speak the same language and share the same culture. Discuss some of the problems related to this lack of integra v. 2
Todays, using other country language is made uncomfortable and feel too hard in other country. Many immigrants prepare other country language when they would move to other country. People feel hard to a speak second language and feel hard to join with different culture people. I want to discuss how making harmony with other countries people. People feel comfortable when they are using mother tongue. So, many immigrants tend to usually speak their own language with their friends. Furthermore, people feel hard to learn and using a second language with local people. People usually avoid their speaking chance, when they have speaking opportunity with local people or their neighbor. Many immigrants already has their culture community apps on their phone and same country friends. They usually talk and message through a phone app with their friends. Even though people looking for same country culture people when they want to date with someone. In my opinion, there are several solutions. Making new friends is the best way to harmony with local people. Only talking with compatriots can cause to isolate some immigrants from local people. Also, I think many immigrants have to open mind about second language and different culture. And people have to close relationship with their neighbors and local people. Small talk with their neighbor can cause harmony with other culture people. Furthermore, great place to making a friend is in their school or college. And going to a local event with their new local friends can good start great relationship. In conclusion, many immigrants tend to comfortable circumstance when they make a friend. Even, they live in other country. In my point of view, they have to try to speak with local people.
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Todays
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other
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country
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language
is made
uncomfortable and
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feel
too
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hard
in
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other
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country
.
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Many
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immigrants
prepare
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other
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country
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language
when they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
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other
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country
.
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People
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feel
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hard
to
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'speak' is correct. If 'speak' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a speak
second
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language
and
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feel
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hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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culture
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people
. I want to discuss how making harmony with
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other
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countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

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People
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feel
comfortable when they are using mother tongue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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many
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immigrants
tend to
usually
speak their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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language
with their
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friends
.
Furthermore
,
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people
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feel
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hard
to learn and using a second
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language
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
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people
.
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People
usually
avoid their speaking chance, when they have speaking opportunity with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or their neighbor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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immigrants
already has their
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culture
community apps on their phone and same
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country
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friends
. They
usually
talk and message through a phone app with their
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friends
.
Even though
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people
looking for same
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country
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culture
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people
when they want to date with someone.

In my opinion, there are several solutions. Making new
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friends
is the best way to harmony with
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local
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people
.
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Only
talking with compatriots can cause to isolate
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some
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immigrants
from
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local
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people
.
Also
, I
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think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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immigrants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
open mind about second
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language
and
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different
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culture
. And
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close relationship with their neighbors and
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local
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people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
talk with their neighbor can cause harmony with
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other
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culture
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people
.
Furthermore
, great place to making a
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friend
is in their school or college. And going to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
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event
with their new
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local
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friends
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
great relationship.

In conclusion
,
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many
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immigrants
tend to comfortable circumstance when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. Even, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my point of view, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try to speak with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
70Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Often when people move overseas where the culture is different from their own, they tend to gravitate towards people from their own country who speak the same language and share the same culture. Discuss some of the problems related to this lack of integra v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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