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Advertising has become an inevitable part of our lives Some people believe that it is a positive aspect of our lives while others are of opposite belief Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Advertising has become an inevitable part of our lives Some people believe that it is a positive aspect of our lives while others are of opposite belief 2
It is true that advertising has become a vital part of our daily life in recent years. While I understand that critics may argue that people still exist without commercials, I hold the belief that there are more advantages than disadvantages On the one hand, the businesses use glamorous, successful people in advertising to manipulate people to buy the products. For example, the advertisement about cake on television which is colorful and appetizing can sway the children to insist on buying this goods. Moreover, we are easily persuaded to follow the latest trend. A good example could be a smart phone, people can queue for many hours to own the newest phone even when they already have a perfectly good phone that does not need replacing. On the other hand, I would think that the benefit of advertising existence dominate the drawbacks. Today advertising is a key part of modern business and modern art. For instances, advertisements have more styles not only the pictures in the magazines but it also in the songs or the short movies so the customer can easily remember the goods because they will watch this video many times or they want to use the same material like their idols. Besides, without advertising, there would be higher unemployment. Thanks to, the advertisements on the newspaper or on the wall, people can know more information about this profession and the searching is not had time - consuming. Furthermore, people love adverts therefore advertising is a creative industry that employs many people who love art and imagination. In conclusion I suppose that the bright side of advertising do outweigh the others. Personally I would lean toward the former opinion, but I think that governments should censor the information and quality of the product before publish to make sure whether this is suitable to everyone.
It is true that advertising has become a vital part of our daily life in recent years. While I understand that critics may argue that
people
still
exist without commercials, I hold the belief that there are more advantages than
disadvantages


On the one hand, the businesses
use
glamorous, successful
people
in advertising to manipulate
people
to
buy
the products.
For example
, the advertisement about cake on television which is colorful and appetizing can sway the children to insist on buying
this
goods
.
Moreover
, we are
easily
persuaded to follow the latest trend. A
good
example could be a smart phone,
people
can queue for
many
hours to
own
the newest phone even when they already have a
perfectly
good
phone that does not need replacing.

On the other hand
, I would
think
that the benefit of advertising existence dominate the drawbacks.
Today
advertising is a key part of modern business and modern art. For instances, advertisements have more styles not
only
the pictures in the magazines
but
it
also
in the songs or the short movies
so
the customer can
easily
remember the
goods
because
they will
watch
this video
many
times or
they want to
use
the same material
like
their idols.
Besides
, without advertising, there would be higher unemployment. Thanks to, the advertisements on the newspaper or on the wall,
people
can know more information about this profession and the searching is not had time
-
consuming.
Furthermore
,
people
love
adverts
therefore
advertising is a creative industry that employs
many
people
who
love
art and imagination.

In
conclusion I
suppose that the bright side of advertising do outweigh the others.
Personally
I would lean toward the former opinion,
but
I
think
that
governments
should censor the information and quality of the product
before
publish to
make
sure whether this is suitable to everyone.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising has become an inevitable part of our lives Some people believe that it is a positive aspect of our lives while others are of opposite belief 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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