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In many countries, people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.4

In many countries, people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 4
Nowadays people from underdeveloped or developing nations tend to move abroad or go to different locations of their country after leaving for their job. They seek to live their rest of life in peace and soothing environment. But in my opinion, it has more advantages than disadvantages and the following essay will discuss them both in detail. In recent years, people tend to travel abroad after retiring. Because after the long years of dedication to work, this is the right time for people to experience new lands and enjoy great views to refresh the spirit. For example: elderly people sometimes also move to city outskirts or countryside to avoid the big city's hustle and pollution. In addition, when we go there, we have a better understanding of the unique cultural features of the locality so we can find new business directions later. Although we can shift and live in the places they desire. But sometimes it can also impose some problems to someone their health or their means of living. People sometimes cannot adjust to the weather conditions of the new place. In addition, the language barrier is an obstacle for older people when they can not use good language. For example: The elderly have weakened immune systems, and when travelling to places have the cold weather is prone to diseases related to the respiratory tract. In conclusion, I personally believe that the choice should be left for the person to decide. If people are financially capable of doing this then it is a best choice and depend on each person's health. And there is no such problem of doing this thing.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from underdeveloped or developing nations tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
abroad or go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations of their country after leaving for their job. They seek to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their rest of life in peace and soothing environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, it has more advantages than disadvantages and the following essay will discuss them both in detail.

In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to travel abroad after retiring.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
after the long years of dedication to work, this is the right time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to experience new lands and enjoy great views to refresh the spirit.
For example
: elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to city outskirts or countryside to avoid the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city's hustle and pollution.
In addition
, when we go there, we have a better understanding of the unique cultural features of the locality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can find new business directions later.

Although we can shift and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the places they desire.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can
also
impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems to someone their health or their means of living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cannot adjust to the weather conditions of the new place.
In addition
, the language barrier is an obstacle for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
language.
For example
: The elderly have weakened immune systems, and when travelling to places have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather is prone to diseases related to the respiratory tract.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that the choice should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for the person to decide. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
financially
capable of doing this then it is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best choice and depend on each person's health. And there is no such problem of doing this thing.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In many countries, people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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