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In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v.3

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 3
Undoubtedly, a topic central to today’s paramount problem has revolved around the matter that nowadays, many people, especially retirees, are opting to go abroad, if not move to a different area of their country. While there are some reasons which are usually cited to explain for the proliferation of this trend, it can also trigger many related upshots. This essay will elaborate on this topic. There is no room for doubt that this trend is attributable to the elderly people’s conception of the life after retirement. This reason can be seen in the fact that many pensioners regard the later years as the enjoyable period of their life, triggering the tendency toward moving far away from their home. In detail, the majority of retired people have yearned for gaining fresh experiences for a new life by escaping from the hectic and bustling part in order to relieve proceeding stress they had to put up with. Hence, the major reason has been derived from their perception. Regarding the outcomes, that aforementioned concern has long been widely recognized as a trigger for a number of relevant consequences conveying both beneficial and detrimental ones. First and foremost, many retirees regard this thing as a deserving reward for their previous working commitment and social devotion, leading to constituting a considerable motivation for a great number of people, ongoing employers in particular to work harder. Nevertheless and furthermore, in case this moving can cost a fortune, making the older people unable to afford, they will, in all probability, seek for support from their children. This has indirectly put a pressure, even a financial burden on their descendents, widely known as a knock-on effect. So, in general, there are both positive and harmful aftereffect can be seen. As suggested above, there are some factors stemming from retirees’s thought have led to that above-mentioned trend. While people can witness some advantageous upshots in terms of many people’s spur, the tendency toward moving abroad or distinct areas among the elderly can also bring about some drawbacks, especially with their children.
Undoubtedly
, a topic central to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s paramount problem has revolved around the matter that nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
retirees, are opting to go abroad, if not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
area of their country. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which are
usually
cited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
for the proliferation of this trend, it can
also
trigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
related upshots. This essay will elaborate on this topic.

There is no room for doubt that this trend is attributable to the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
conception of the life after retirement. This reason can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pensioners regard the later years as the enjoyable period of their life, triggering the tendency toward moving far away from their home. In detail, the majority of retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have yearned for gaining fresh experiences for a new life by escaping from the hectic and bustling part in order to relieve proceeding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
they had to put up with.
Hence
, the major reason has
been derived
from their perception.

Regarding the outcomes, that aforementioned concern has long been
widely
recognized as a trigger for a number of relevant consequences conveying both beneficial and detrimental ones.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
retirees regard this thing as a deserving reward for their previous working commitment and social devotion, leading to constituting a considerable motivation for a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, ongoing employers
in particular
to work harder.
Nevertheless
and
furthermore
, in case this moving can cost a fortune, making the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unable to afford, they will, in all probability, seek for support from their children. This has
indirectly
put a pressure, even a financial burden on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
descendents
,
widely
known as a knock-on effect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
in general
, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and harmful
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "aftereffects"?
aftereffect
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

As suggested above, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors stemming from
Did you mean "retiree’s" or "retirees’"?
retirees’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
have led to that above-mentioned trend. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can witness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantageous upshots in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
spur, the tendency toward moving abroad or distinct areas among the elderly can
also
bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks,
especially
with their children.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why they do so and what the outcome of this situation is. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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