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OF all the Fortune 500 companies, only 4% have female CEOs. The government should change the policy so that women make up an equal 50% of executed business positions. Choose whether you agree or disagree with this statement and discuss why you chose that p v.2

OF all the Fortune 500 companies, only 4% have female CEOs. The government should change the policy so that women make up an equal 50% of executed business positions. Choose whether you agree or disagree with this statement and discuss why you chose that p v. 2
The studying of the Fortune 500 companies has shown, that since the beginning of the 21st century, the number of female COEs has only increased up to 4% of the total number. Some people believe that governments should legislate new laws which oblige companies to hire more women at the positions of executed business positions, and the percentage must equal to 50%, while others argue that this issue relates to the companies polices, and governments do not have the right to force companies to change their polices. This essay will discuss the reasons why the governments should regulate new laws which aim increasing numbers of women at the CEO positions. The governments should oblige companies to hire more women at the CEOs positions because women own equal rights to men. These days women have shown their abilities to occupy leader positions, they compete men with their knowledge and their performance. Recent research, which was conducted in USA, has shown that 99% of women have achieved their tasks better than men. Therefore, governments have to impose a new law which oblige companies to hire more women at the CEOs positions. On the other hand, some people argue that women are not suitable for higher positions at companies and consequently governments should not oblige companies to hire more women at executed business positions because their characters are not similar to men. Men are more tough at difficult situation rather than women. Recent research, which was conducted in Jordan, has shown that men decisions are more accurate than women decisions at difficult situations. These people are unaware of the fact that not all women are the same, and there women more tough than men. Thus, it seems clear that women have the right to work equally to men at the higher positions in the big companies. In conclusion, this essay discussed why governments should force companies to hire more women at the executed business positions. In my opinion, I believe that women have proofed their capabilities of doing difficult tasks under difficult situations, and they have succeed, so government should oblige companies to change their policies.
The studying of the Fortune 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
has shown, that since the beginning of the 21st century,

the number of female
Possible spelling mistake found.
COEs
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increased up to 4% of the total number.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should legislate new laws which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
of executed business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
, and the percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
equal to 50%, while others argue that this issue relates to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
polices, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
do not have the right to force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their polices. This essay will discuss the reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should regulate new laws which aim increasing numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at the CEO positions.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at the CEOs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
equal rights to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have shown their abilities to occupy leader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
, they compete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
with their knowledge and their performance. Recent research, which
was conducted
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, has shown that 99% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have achieved their tasks better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
impose a new law which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at the CEOs positions.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not suitable for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at executed business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their characters are not similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
are more tough at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
situation
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Recent research, which
was conducted
in Jordan, has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
decisions are more accurate than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
decisions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
situations. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unaware of the fact that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are the same, and there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This adjective uses the short comparatives form.
more tough
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Thus
, it seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the right to work
equally
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
at the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at the executed business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have proofed their capabilities of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
tasks under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
situations, and they have
Use past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their policies.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay OF all the Fortune 500 companies, only 4% have female CEOs. The government should change the policy so that women make up an equal 50% of executed business positions. Choose whether you agree or disagree with this statement and discuss why you chose that p v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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