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Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.9

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 9
Generally people adopt different passion and liking over a period of time. For some people this variation is not due to individual choices but merely impression of new lifestyle. To a certain extent, i would agree with the statement, but there are some new activities people follow because they like it. On the one hand, people changes their area of interest due to recent trends in their surroundings They want to keep themselves up to date and want to get an attention from others with their novel activities. For example, Some people start showing interest in things like hiking, sky diving, tracking so as to show they are tough people. On the other hand, people may choose new activities as they haven' t tried or think of it before. These activities are might be in the trend but they are following only due to their inclination towards it. In conclusion, though it is a fact that person change his hobbies and passions over a time but its not necessary due to the recent fashions, it may be the new options available with him as encouraged him to try new things.
Generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
passion and liking over a period of time. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
this variation is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to individual choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
merely
impression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lifestyle. To a certain extent,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like it.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
changes
their area of interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to recent trends in their surroundings They want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves up to date and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an attention from others with their novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
showing interest in things like hiking,
Did you mean "skydiving"?
sky diving
, tracking
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
they are tough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may choose
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as they
Possible spelling mistake found.
haven&
#039; t tried or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are might be in the trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are following
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their inclination towards it.

In conclusion
, though it is a fact that person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his hobbies and passions over a time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its not necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the recent fashions, it may be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
options available with him as encouraged him to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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