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OF all the Fortune 500 companies, only 4% have female CEOs. The government should change the policy so that women make up an equal 50% of executed business positions. Choose whether you agree or disagree with this statement and discuss why you chose that p v.1

OF all the Fortune 500 companies, only 4% have female CEOs. The government should change the policy so that women make up an equal 50% of executed business positions. Choose whether you agree or disagree with this statement and discuss why you chose that p v. 1
Migration is the process of moving from one place to another; it could be a country, state or province. As with all concepts, there are merits and demerits of this occurrence, especially, when emigrating from a host country to another. This essay will highlight its benefits and its counterpart to the person as well as society. First of all, migration presents an advantage to the individual by availing him or her more opportunities and experiences, to thrive in an ever growing society. An immigrant, is presented with a new set of people, culture and language; interactions with the new situation can aid greatly in developing character, learning new strategies for development and in the case of children as well as adults, even learning a new language. Studies have shown that people who can speak more than one language and have a good range of cultural experiences, have higher opportunities for employment. On the other hand, involuntary migration, usually caused by factors beyond human control, such as: natural disasters, war and famine, can leave an emigrant feeling displaced. As an immigrant, he or she is faced with culture shock as a result of inadequate preparation and can sometimes face discrimination. An article published in an economic journal, highlights how societies with diverse cultures, especially in developed countries face difficulties in trusting one another due to racial hostilities and suspicion. Lastly, the countries involved (previous and present province), benefit as well as suffer in consequence to the situation. An advantage to the host country is an increment in human resources, although this can be a bad thing as well, often resulting in overpopulation and increased competition for menial jobs. In a similar fashion, the previous country of residence, can benefit by show of an increase in natural resources; this situation can also cost the nation valuable human potential vital to their economic development. Good case studies include countries such as: Nigeria and America; the former sees a substantial decrease in population, as skilled professionals are emigrating in search of better opportunities, which is a terrible loss to the nation; the latter party (America), in this case can comfortably attribute its growth to the influx of immigrants and as a result, the diversity of cultures. In summary, migration affects the individual as well as society negatively and positively with regard to increased opportunities, hostilities, additional resources and overpopulation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Migration
is the process of moving from one place to another; it could be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, state or province. As with all concepts, there are merits and demerits of this occurrence,
especially
, when emigrating from a host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another. This essay will highlight its benefits and its counterpart to the person as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as society.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
presents an advantage to the individual by availing him or her more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and experiences, to thrive in an ever growing society. An immigrant,
is presented
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, culture and language; interactions with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
situation can aid
greatly
in developing character, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
strategies for development and in the case of children as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as adults, even learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language. Studies have shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can speak more than one language and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
range of cultural experiences, have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for employment.

On the other hand
, involuntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
,
usually
caused by factors beyond human control, such as: natural disasters, war and famine, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
an emigrant feeling displaced. As an immigrant, he or she
is faced
with culture shock
as a result
of inadequate preparation and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
face discrimination. An article published in an economic journal, highlights how societies with diverse cultures,
especially
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
face difficulties in trusting one another due to racial hostilities and suspicion.

Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved (previous and present province), benefit as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as suffer in
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
the situation. An advantage to the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is an increment in human resources, although this can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
resulting in overpopulation and increased competition for menial jobs.
Consider replacing "In a similar fashion" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a similar fashion
, the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of residence, can benefit by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
of an increase in natural resources; this situation can
also
cost the nation valuable human potential vital to their economic development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
case studies include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as: Nigeria and America; the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
a substantial decrease in population, as skilled professionals are emigrating in search of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
, which is a terrible loss to the nation; the latter party (America),
in this case
can
comfortably
attribute its growth to the influx of immigrants and
as a result
, the diversity of cultures.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
affects the individual as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as society
negatively
and
positively
with regard to increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
, hostilities, additional resources and overpopulation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay OF all the Fortune 500 companies, only 4% have female CEOs. The government should change the policy so that women make up an equal 50% of executed business positions. Choose whether you agree or disagree with this statement and discuss why you chose that p v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
395 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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