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ocial media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

ocial media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
The death toll numbers on our roads have been increasing year on year basis. Some people believe that tougher rules must be implemented on teens like to have an eligibility age of 24 and over to drive, whilst other people believe that teen should be educated on effects of rash and drink driving which is one of the major causes of death on the road. I believe that setting an age limit for teens is not the solution and in this essay, we discuss how can find alternatives to this problem. There should be an age limit to when a teen can start riding a motorcycle, but rather than having them to learn a new skill later on in life, it can be productive to let them learn from 16-18 years of age with a learner license with several restrictions. Also, having various stages before getting a full license and heavy penalties for breaking any rules would be a positive way for a teenager to learn from his mistakes or to avoid mistakes overall. For example, a teen in Australia has to go through four stages of the license before he can apply for a full license, these stages run over four years and have a severe penalty if the rules are not followed according to the stage. Another way the government can help reduce the number of teen fatalities on the motorcycle is by educating them through ads. Placing the ads in an educational institute and on the roads can create awareness amongst the youth of the consequences of drink driving and rash driving. For example, New Zeeland government is placing advertisements on television, radio and the internet by showing how the accident victim regrets dangerous driving. Overall, I firmly believe, that rather than stopping teens from driving a motorcycle, we should implement a tougher procedure to obtain a license as well as creating awareness amongst the youth on the positives of safe driving.
The death toll numbers on our roads have been increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
basis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that tougher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
like to have an eligibility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 24 and over to drive, whilst other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
should
be educated
on effects of rash and drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
which is one of the major causes of death on the road. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that setting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
is not the solution and in this essay, we discuss how can find alternatives to this problem.

There should be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit to when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
riding a motorcycle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
than having them to learn a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
later on in life, it can be productive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them learn from 16-18 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
with a learner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
with several restrictions.
Also
, having various stages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting a full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
and heavy penalties for breaking any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
to learn from his mistakes or to avoid mistakes
overall
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
in Australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
go through four stages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he can apply for a full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
, these stages run over four years and have a severe penalty if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are not followed according to the stage.

Another way the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
fatalities on the motorcycle is by educating them through ads. Placing the ads in an educational institute and on the roads can create awareness amongst the youth of the consequences of drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and rash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
For example
,
Did you mean "New Zealand"?
New Zeeland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is placing advertisements on television, radio and the internet by showing how the accident victim regrets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
driving.

Overall
, I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
, that
rather
than stopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
a motorcycle, we should implement a tougher procedure to obtain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
as well
as creating awareness amongst the youth on the positives of safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay ocial media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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