Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 3
In many countries, the number of people who became overweight has increased and their health condition and fitness level are declining. This essay will discuss some of the reasons why these problems have arisen and some of the steps that can be taken to address them. Initially, many people in some countries prefer to fast foods due to lack of time. Although, it can be done easily and saves more time apart from that it is also detrimental to our health. For instance, people who had no time during their work will prefer to ready made food in their canteens. This unhealthy food is hazardous to health and results in an increase in weight of people. However, people consume fat contained meals they do not show any interest in their fitness. This makes people lethargy and no productive in their work. On the other hand, these can be solved by consuming health foods and drinks. Apart from that, doing exercise and intense workout can help people to reduce their weight. For example, eating more fruits and vegetables can be beneficial as it provides many vitamins and minerals which are essential for our body. Maintaining a proper diet can help people to reduce weight and increase fitness. Even though fast foods are unhealthy for our body, it should be consumed in a limited way. Government should run campaigns to make awareness among people about the healthy food and fitness. To conclude, people must take healthy food by avoiding fast food and also should concentrate on their diet. Increase in health levels can raise the productivity of the people. Maintaining a proper weight or personality can be helpful to build confidence in a person. So, people should maintain a proper weight and should consume healthy food.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who became overweight has increased and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition and fitness level are declining. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why these problems have arisen and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
steps that can
be taken
to address them.

Initially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries prefer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
due to lack of time. Although, it can
be done
easily
and saves more time apart from that it is
also
detrimental to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had no time during their work will prefer to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in their canteens. This unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is hazardous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and results in an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
contained meals they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
any interest in their fitness.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lethargy and no productive in their work.

On the other hand
, these can
be solved
by consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and drinks. Apart from that, doing exercise and intense workout can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
.
For example
, eating more fruits and vegetables can be beneficial as it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vitamins and minerals which are essential for our body. Maintaining a proper diet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and increase fitness.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are unhealthy for our body, it should
be consumed
Consider replacing "in a limited way" with the adverb for "limited"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a limited way
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should run campaigns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and fitness.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by avoiding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
should concentrate on their diet. Increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
levels can raise the productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Maintaining a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
or personality can be helpful to build confidence in a person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should maintain a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and should consume healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts