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Obesity in children is a serious problem in a number of countries. What are the causes of obesity in children? Discuss the possible alarming effects of this problem in the future. v.1

Obesity in children is a serious problem in a number of countries. What are the causes of obesity in children? Discuss the possible alarming effects of this problem in the future. v. 1
Obesity is perceived as an unhealthy over weight condition occurs only in adult life. However, in recent years the number of children suffering from obesity has grown significantly all across the globe. This essay sheds some lights on various agents behind the obesity in adolescents and their weighty effects. To begin with, it is medically proven that imbalanced diet and a sedentary lifestyle are two major factors that causes fatness in the minors. First of all, children, enjoys consuming unhealthy high calorie fast foods and aerated drinks, which are full of harmful lipids, amino acids and sugar. With the ease of availability, they tend to repeatedly consume such junk food and become stout. Additionally, most of the youngsters have a very lethargic lifestyle unlike earlier days. For instance, they spend most of their time on computer games or indoor activities than sports or any physical exercise. As a consequence, they suffer from numerous physical and mental health problems which should be addressed the earliest possible. Firstly, obesity results due to incorrect functioning of the human body and contribute to the risk of developing some chronic illnesses. For example, as body fat percentage increases, the person’s metabolism worsens, which in turn may result in diabetes or heart diseases. Secondly, overweight children are very unhealthy and often suffer from stress and tiredness. This lessens their work efficiency and results in lower productivity. To illustrate, an obese needs to put more effort to complete a task than a person with normal BMI. To summarize, obesity is a chronic health issue that affects a large youngster nowadays. It’s mainly caused by an inactive lifestyle and eating disorders and results in acute health problems and loss of productivity.
Obesity
is perceived
as an unhealthy over weight condition occurs
only
in adult life.
However
, in recent years the number of children suffering from obesity has grown
significantly
all across the globe. This essay sheds
some
lights on various agents behind the obesity in adolescents and their weighty effects.

To
begin
with, it is
medically
proven that imbalanced diet and a sedentary lifestyle are two major factors that causes fatness in the minors.
First of all
, children, enjoys consuming unhealthy high calorie
fast
foods and aerated drinks, which are full of harmful lipids, amino acids and sugar. With the
ease
of availability, they tend to
repeatedly
consume such junk food and become stout.
Additionally
, most of the youngsters have a
very
lethargic lifestyle unlike earlier days.
For instance
, they spend most of their time on computer games or indoor activities than sports or any physical exercise.

As a consequence, they suffer from numerous physical and mental health problems which should
be addressed
the earliest possible.
Firstly
, obesity
results
due to incorrect functioning of the human body and contribute to the
risk
of developing
some
chronic illnesses.
For example
, as body
fat
percentage increases, the person’s metabolism worsens, which in turn may
result
in diabetes or heart diseases.
Secondly
, overweight children are
very
unhealthy and
often
suffer from
stress
and tiredness. This lessens their work efficiency and
results
in lower productivity. To illustrate, an obese
needs
to put more effort to complete a task than a person with normal BMI.

To summarize
, obesity is a chronic health issue that affects a large youngster nowadays. It’s
mainly
caused by an inactive lifestyle and eating disorders and
results
in acute health problems and loss of productivity.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Obesity in children is a serious problem in a number of countries. What are the causes of obesity in children? Discuss the possible alarming effects of this problem in the future. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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