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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions. v. 1
According to a recent survey of the World Health Organization, worldwide, 63% of children suffering from obesity problem. Therefore it is irrefutable that children are suffering from various countries. This essay will discuss issues and remedies to overcome childhood obesity. To begin with, the fast-food industry becoming popular everyday, and numerous juveniles are addicting to junk food culture. Although fast food items are more attractive and tasty, it’s harmful to their health. To illustrate, based on the report of Times magazine, the admission ratio of childhood obesity cases is increasing every year, and most of them are students. Besides, nowadays, children are becoming less active due to media entertainment; moreover, they opine that it is easy to learn many things from a single place. Hence, it has clearly shown the reasons for the problem. However, potential corrective actions could reduce the overweight of juveniles. Firstly, parents should provide delicious and healthy food for their children; therefore, they do not like to have outside food. Secondly, the government should implement physical activity syllabus to students; as a result, it will decrease their fat level. For example, a few years ago, Japan has introduced an everyday sports activity in their school schedule; therefore, students are more healthy and active. Thus, parents and bureaucracy should take counteractions to prevent the health of the students. To conclude, this essay discussed facts such as junk food culture and less active are hindering children from a healthy lifestyle, and suggested several solutions to prevent them from obesity issue.
According to a recent survey of the World Health Organization, worldwide, 63% of
children
suffering from obesity problem.
Therefore
it is irrefutable that
children
are suffering from various countries. This essay will discuss issues and remedies to overcome childhood obesity.

To
begin
with, the
fast
-food industry becoming popular
everyday
, and numerous juveniles are addicting to junk
food
culture. Although
fast
food
items are more attractive and tasty, it’s harmful to their health. To illustrate, based on the report of Times magazine, the admission ratio of childhood obesity cases is increasing every year, and most of them are students.
Besides
, nowadays,
children
are becoming less active due to media entertainment;
moreover
, they opine that it is easy to learn
many
things from a single place.
Hence
, it has
clearly
shown the reasons for the problem.

However
, potential corrective actions could
reduce
the overweight of juveniles.
Firstly
, parents should provide delicious and healthy
food
for their
children
;
therefore
, they do not like to have outside
food
.
Secondly
, the
government
should implement physical activity syllabus to students;
as a result
, it will decrease their
fat
level.
For example
, a few years ago, Japan has introduced an everyday sports activity in their school schedule;
therefore
, students are more healthy and active.
Thus
, parents and bureaucracy should take counteractions to
prevent
the health of the students.

To conclude
, this essay discussed facts such as junk
food
culture and less active are hindering
children
from a healthy lifestyle, and suggested several solutions to
prevent
them from obesity issue.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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