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Nowadays more and more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. This is a positive or negative development. v.2

Nowadays more and more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. This is a positive or negative development. v. 2
With the advantage of technology, the majority of the people are socializing online these days instead of meeting physically. It has negative impacts on the affection of the human relation and it is hazardous; therefore, this trend is more disadvantageous. First of all, communicating through electronic gadgets affects the intimacy of the relationship. This is because, to maintain the virtual relationship, people spend hours after hours in front of the screen rather passing time with friends and families. Therefore, this propensity not only leads the users to isolation, but also reduces the attachment of the real relation. Consequently, in final cases, many relations resulted in a break-up. For instance, a recent survey conducted by Monter. com reveals that more than 20% of the divorces happen because of the post-marital affairs, which formed through networking sites. Likewise, virtual socialization is risky. Because, it is easy for anyone to assume fake identities and continuing connection over internet with that. In this case, if anyone anonymously browse online, there is the possibility of being cheated by these fake account holders. Moreover, shared pictures or conversations are stored in the real-time database and existed till these are not deleted by the users and the receivers, which might cause embarrassing situations later in their life. For example, recently in Bangladesh, a celebrity's intimate chatting with her ex-boyfriend was revealed, which created tremendous personal problem to her and also ignited her fans. In conclusion, two major problems which derived from the communication via virtual platform are reduction of the emotional attachment of interrelationship and the associated dangers. Hence, it would be wise to manage contacts online and maintain most communication with the face to face meeting.
With the advantage of technology, the majority of the
people
are socializing online these days
instead
of meeting
physically
. It has
negative
impacts on the affection of the human relation and it is hazardous;
therefore
, this trend is more disadvantageous.

First of all
, communicating through electronic gadgets affects the intimacy of the relationship. This is
because
, to maintain the virtual relationship,
people
spend hours after hours in front of the screen
rather
passing time with friends and families.
Therefore
, this propensity not
only
leads the users to isolation,
but
also
reduces
the attachment of the real relation.
Consequently
, in final cases,
many
relations resulted in a break-up.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by
Monter
.
com
reveals that more than 20% of the divorces happen
because
of the post-marital affairs, which formed through networking sites.

Likewise
, virtual socialization is risky.
Because
, it is easy for anyone to assume fake identities and continuing connection over internet with that.
In this case
, if anyone
anonymously
browse
online, there is the possibility of
being cheated
by these fake account holders.
Moreover
, shared pictures or conversations
are stored
in the real-time database and existed till these are not deleted by the users and the receivers, which might cause embarrassing situations later in their life.
For example
, recently in Bangladesh, a celebrity's intimate chatting with her ex-boyfriend
was revealed
, which created tremendous personal problem to her and
also
ignited her fans.

In conclusion
, two major problems which derived from the communication via virtual platform are reduction of the emotional attachment of interrelationship and the associated
dangers
.
Hence
, it would be wise to manage contacts online and maintain most communication with the face to face meeting.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. This is a positive or negative development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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