Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays many young people have negative attitude towards learning after they left school. What is the cause and what are the steps that can be taken to bring positive attitude towards learning again? v.1

Nowadays many young people have negative attitude towards learning after they left school. What is the cause and what are the steps that can be taken to bring positive attitude towards learning again? v. 1
Travelling has become an important aspect of life, thus, giving tourism industry a boost. International travelling is a huge sector amongst other sectors of the society, but it raises disputes other than smooth relation between individuals and various traditions. I completely disagree with this statement, out of country travel generally encourages the revenue for the economy and create learning about different social-cultural background. Considerably, International travellers have the highest contribution in the total economic revenue generated by most countries. Economic growth is the ultimate aim for any country and as people visit the country, stay, buy clothes, pay for their meals are other reasons for the growth. For example, last year, in India’s economic growth, international tourists contribute as much as 28%, which in context of this year is less than 5%. This year it is 33%. Learning is an essential part in our lives. A rigid person cannot learn anything as well as he does not tend to adapt things as they are. Travelling involves a lot of learning about new places, cultures, people’s lives and the social background. Travelling does involve understanding the behaviour and patterns of the people one meets while travelling, certainly, it gives the best experience and change the person from within. For example, I went to south India, the tradition, culture and the way they treat people is one of the best experience that I ever had, they made me forget about any physical boundaries, that we may have, and there existed real equality. This was a life changing experience for me. Understanding the value of others is a pivotal part of travelling In conclusion, tourism is an industry with powerful revenues and also has other impacts like learning about cultures and values, So, I think it’s a mixture of both and really doesn’t involve any misunderstandings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of life,
thus
, giving tourism industry a boost. International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is a huge sector amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors of the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it raises disputes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than smooth relation between individuals and various traditions. I completely disagree with this statement, out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
travel
generally
encourages the revenue for the economy and create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social-cultural background.

Considerably
, International
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
have the highest contribution in the total economic revenue generated by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Economic growth is the ultimate aim for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, stay,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes, pay for their meals are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons for the growth.
For example
, last year, in India’s economic growth, international tourists contribute as much as 28%, which in context of this year is less than 5%. This year it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
33%. Learning
is an essential part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. A rigid person cannot learn anything
as well
as he does not tend to adapt things as they are.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about new places, cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the social background.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
does involve understanding the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and patterns of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
one meets while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
,
certainly
, it gives the best experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the person from within.
For example
, I went to south India, the tradition, culture and the way they treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
one of the best experience that I ever had, they made me forget about any physical boundaries, that we may have, and there existed real equality. This was a life changing experience for me. Understanding the value of others is a pivotal part of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
travelling


In conclusion
, tourism is an industry with powerful revenues and
also
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
impacts like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about cultures and values,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s a mixture of both and
really
doesn’t involve any misunderstandings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many young people have negative attitude towards learning after they left school. What is the cause and what are the steps that can be taken to bring positive attitude towards learning again? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts