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In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past v.3

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past v. 3
These days, by expanding internet and social networking sites, many people spent their time in such sites and try to use many of their benefits. These social networks make a great opportunity to find new people, expand their business and even entertain them. But as a matter of fact, these sites have disadvantages too, they can affect both citizens and civilization easily. In this essay, we discuss these effects and try to make a suitable conclusion. The most important characteristic property of these networks is they can give quick and equal access to news, to all people around the world. As a result, many people can share the news immediately and easily. But this property can affect society harmfully. Just imagine some people can make fake news and publish them on the internet, as a result, many people will believe them and chaos will become everywhere. So people always should track news on reliable news resources. Also, these social networks can easily affect personal life either. People spent lots of time in these social networks daily, they try to find new friends or contact people with similar interests or try to sell their product to consumers. But, despite these advantages, they can make opportunities for bad people to steal other personal information and data. The hackers may find a way to access other members' data and use them in violent ways, this problem becomes more dangerous when they have stolen information from important persons like a politician or even published personal files of famous persons. So these members always should be aware of what they share and what people they communicate with. To sum up, social networking has a great range of advantages of any kind of people and can be very useful, but if members don’t pay attention to their policy privacy and reliable resources, definitely many big problems in both personal and social life can be made. I believe notwithstanding of these bad effects we can use their advantages with more careful attention.
These days, by expanding internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent their time in such sites and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their benefits. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a great opportunity to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, expand their business and even entertain them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as a matter of fact, these sites have disadvantages too, they can affect both citizens and civilization
easily
. In this essay, we discuss these effects and try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a suitable conclusion.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
characteristic property of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
is they can give quick and equal access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
immediately and
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this property can affect society
harmfully
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
imagine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and publish them on the internet,
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will believe them and chaos will become everywhere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
resources.

Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
can
easily
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life either.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
spent lots of time in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
daily, they try to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends or contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with similar interests or try to sell their product to consumers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, despite these advantages, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to steal other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information and data. The hackers may find a way to access other members' data and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in violent ways, this problem becomes more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
when they have stolen information from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
persons like a politician or even published
Did you mean the noun "personnel"?
personal
files of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these members always should be aware of what they share and what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they communicate with.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking has a great range of advantages of any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if members don’t pay attention to their policy privacy and reliable resources, definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life can
be made
. I believe notwithstanding of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their advantages with more careful attention.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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