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Nowadays young people want more freedom and they pay little or no attention towards the older people's advice. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Nowadays young people want more freedom and they pay little or no attention towards the older people's advice. with this statement? v. 2
We are living in a time where everything is changing very rapidly. Due to the technological boom and globalization, everyone has access to all the information regarding life-style, culture, education and recent issues. People from all over the world are trying to go with the recent trend. Young people are more adaptive to these changes. They want freedom like everyone else from all age groups, which is quite normal. I disagree with the statement that young people choose their freedom over older people' s advice. There will always be a generation gap. This is perfectly normal. For example, every father thinks his son does not listen to him; whereas, every son thinks that his father does not understand him. With the advancement of time and technology, people will change. There will be a change in thinking, habits, and lifestyle. Young people are prone to adapt to new trends. They are using the internet for any kind of information they need. They do not depend on elders or teachers to know something. They also want freedom in their decision making. However, at the same time, they consider their elder' s advice. This is a common scenario for every aspect of our life. For example, in case of choosing the subject and institution for study, they always consider older people' s opinions. We can certainly cook by watching videos but if anything goes wrong, we rush to hear from the older people. Also, in the case of child-rearing, older people are the last resort for us. We also depend on older people for taking decisions for our careers. Older people are so experienced that even if they have little learning, they can share their experiences about their successes and failures, which can help us to make the right decision. Moreover, nobody can deny the popular saying, " Mommy knows best. " However, there might be some people who think that older people' s advice is of no use. This is because they are outdated in terms of new technologies. They lacked resources like gadgets for household and other works. To sum up, we can say that every age has its own beauty. Older people are more prudent than young people. Also, as they are not our competitors in any way, they will give us the best advice for us.
We are living in a
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
everything is changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
. Due to the technological boom and globalization, everyone has access to all the information regarding life-style, culture, education and recent issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from all over the world are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the recent trend.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more adaptive to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. They want freedom like everyone else from all age groups, which is quite normal. I disagree with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their freedom over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s advice.

There will always be a generation gap. This is
perfectly
normal.
For example
, every father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
his son does not listen to him; whereas, every son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that his father does not understand him. With the advancement of time and technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. There will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in thinking, habits, and lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are prone to adapt to new trends. They are using the internet for any kind of information they need. They do not depend on elders or teachers to know something.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
also
want freedom in their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
However
, at the same time, they consider their
Possible spelling mistake found.
elder&
#039; s advice. This is a common scenario for every aspect of our life.
For example
, in case of choosing the subject and institution for study, they always consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s opinions. We can
certainly
cook by watching videos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if anything goes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, we rush to hear from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, in the case of child-rearing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the last resort for us. We
also
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for taking decisions for our careers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
experienced that even if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
learning, they can share their experiences about their successes and failures, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right decision.
Moreover
, nobody can deny the popular saying,
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
Mommy
knows best.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;

However
, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s advice is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are outdated
in terms of new technologies. They lacked resources like gadgets for household and other works.

To sum up, we can say that every age has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
beauty.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more prudent than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, as they are not our competitors in any way, they will give us the best advice for us.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays young people want more freedom and they pay little or no attention towards the older people's advice. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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