Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO15 Q1 The older generation gives advice to younger family members. Describe the valuable piece of advice that an older person gave you. Why did it help you. v.1

TPO15 Q1 The older generation gives advice to younger family members. Describe the valuable piece of advice that an older person gave you. Why did it help you. v. 1
In some nations, people are getting heavier and standards of health and well-being are falling. This essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is the type of nourishment they are eating and submit a government education program as a viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion. The main cause of the health crisis currently affecting so many individuals is over-consumption of poor quality sustenance. Convenience food and junk food, such as microwave dinners, chocolate bars, McDonald’s and pizza, have become a ubiquitous part of modern life. Eating too much of these high-fat meals causes many to gain weight and this has knock-on effects on someone’s general wellness. For example, the movie ‘Super Size Me’ demonstrated that a person who eats this kind of meal all the time will not only get fat, but also suffer from such things as raised blood pressure and even fatty liver disease. The most practical solution to this problem is a government-sponsored awareness campaign. An effective advertising campaign could warn of the dangers of a poor diet and, hopefully raise awareness amongst the public. This raised awareness of the problem would lead many people starting a healthier regime. For example, the U. K recently lobbied their citizens to eat 5 pieces of fruit and vegetables a day and this resulted in a dramatic decrease in obesity-related illnesses such as stroke and heart disease. In summary, the current health crisis has been caused by an over-reliance on unhealthy food and states should curtail this by educating men and women on how to make healthier choices.
In
some
nations,
people
are getting heavier and standards of health and well-being are falling. This essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is the type of nourishment they are eating and submit a
government
education program as a viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

The main cause of the health crisis
currently
affecting
so
many
individuals is over-consumption of poor quality sustenance. Convenience food and junk food, such as microwave dinners, chocolate bars, McDonald’s and pizza, have become a ubiquitous part of modern life. Eating too much of these high-
fat
meals causes
many
to gain weight and this has knock-on effects on someone’s general wellness.
For example
, the movie ‘Super Size Me’ demonstrated that a person who eats this kind of meal all the time will not
only
get
fat
,
but
also
suffer from such things as raised blood pressure and even fatty liver disease.

The most practical solution to this problem is a
government
-sponsored awareness campaign. An effective advertising campaign could warn of the
dangers
of a poor diet and,
hopefully
raise awareness amongst the public. This raised awareness of the problem would lead
many
people
starting a healthier regime.
For example
, the U. K recently lobbied their citizens to eat 5 pieces of fruit and vegetables a day and this resulted in a dramatic decrease in obesity-related illnesses such as stroke and heart disease.

In summary, the
current
health crisis has
been caused
by an over-reliance on unhealthy food and states should curtail this by educating
men
and women on how to
make
healthier choices.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay TPO15 Q1 The older generation gives advice to younger family members. Describe the valuable piece of advice that an older person gave you. Why did it help you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts