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Nowadays children of all ages in all countries use most of their time for playing computer games. Parents think that it is not educational and has a harmful effect. What is your opinion on this topic? v.1

Nowadays children of all ages in all countries use most of their time for playing computer games. Parents think that it is not educational and has a harmful effect. What is your opinion on this topic? v. 1
Computer games seem to be the trend nowadays. What started as a recreational activity has now turned into the favorite pastime for youngsters all over the world while becoming the primary concern for parents who think of it as an enemy of their kids' education and mental nourishment. I believe that the parents who think that are mistaken. This essay will discuss how computer games can aid in student' s education and have a salutary effect on children' s minds, thus contradicting the beliefs of parents believing otherwise. Games played on the computer are presently used as an accessory in most modern classrooms. Young minds are attracted to them very easily, which makes them use their full attention, resulting in quick and effective learning. Most of the time, these activities are interactive in nature, thus enabling the students to apply what they have learned in a safe and simulated environment. For example, typing games, such as Typing Tutor or TypeMaster, make the trainees learn and practice typing at the same time. A healthy mind needs exposure to a lot of new ideas, which can be easily stimulated by computer games. For example, gamers, who play science-fiction games, tend to have a better grasp of new and upcoming scientific innovations. History gamers find themselves a lot more educated about the origins of civilizations and cultures. Moreover, simulations gamers, such as drivers and pilots, are well-known for applying their gaming skills in real-life scenarios, similar to the typists mentioned previously, who learned how to type by playing computer games. To conclude, computer games can be educational and have a positive effect on learning as well as other mental activities, as opposed to what parents believe.
Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
seem to be the trend nowadays. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
as a recreational activity has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
turned into the favorite pastime for youngsters all over the world while becoming the primary concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it as an enemy of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
kids&
#039; education and mental nourishment. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
are mistaken
. This essay will discuss how computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can aid in
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s education and have a salutary effect on
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s minds,
thus
contradicting the beliefs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believing
otherwise
.

Games played on the computer are
presently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an accessory in most modern classrooms. Young minds
are attracted
to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their full attention, resulting in quick and effective learning. Most of the time, these activities are interactive in nature,
thus
enabling the students to apply what they have learned in a safe and simulated environment.
For example
, typing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, such as Typing Tutor or
Possible spelling mistake found.
TypeMaster
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the trainees learn and practice typing at the same time.

A healthy mind needs exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, which can be
easily
stimulated by computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
, gamers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
play science-fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, tend to have a better grasp of new and upcoming scientific innovations. History gamers find themselves a lot more educated about the origins of civilizations and cultures.
Moreover
, simulations gamers, such as drivers and pilots, are well-known for applying their gaming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in real-life scenarios, similar to the typists mentioned previously,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
learned how to type by playing computer games.

To conclude
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be educational and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on learning
as well
as other mental activities, as opposed to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays children of all ages in all countries use most of their time for playing computer games. Parents think that it is not educational and has a harmful effect. What is your opinion on this topic? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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