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With the advent of social media, more people are getting their news online instead of from print media. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for people who read news online. v.3

With the advent of social media, more people are getting their news online instead of from print media. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for people who read news online. v. 3
Social media indeed provides a platform to stay updated from the world news throughout the day as compared to conventional print media. Online news is more accessible and interactive to people on the up side but there are some drawbacks which need to be taken into account. On the one hand, reading news from online platforms can be advantageous. Firstly, this medium allows public to get quick access to what is happening in the world media. There area a number of world leading news agencies linked to social media websites which notify you about the latest developments in the world. Secondly, reading news online can be a more interactive experience for the user. Many news, for instance, on social media websites are now linked to a live streaming feature which let you grasp even the menial details of the event by watching video coverage on the subject matter. On the other hand, one negative aspect of turning to online sources of news is that people often get increasingly consumed in their mobile or computer screens. It actually disconnects them from the real world and they get inconsiderate of their surrounding and other people around them who may be in need of immediate help. Another damaging effect of depending on online media is related to deterioration of one`s health. Excessive exposure to brightly lit screens can severely damage one`s eyesight and may lead up to the problem of impaired vision. For example, the Times recently reported that more than 65% people in the world today have a weaker eyesight due to incessant use of cell phones and laptop screens. In conclusion, getting news from online portals has some benefits but lack of attentiveness towards the real world and damaging health hazards are among the potential detrimental effects.
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
indeed
provides a platform to stay updated from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
throughout the day as compared to conventional print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is more accessible and interactive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the up side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which need to
be taken
into account.

On the one hand, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms can be advantageous.
Firstly
, this medium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quick access to what is happening in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. There area a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
agencies linked to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
websites which notify you about the latest developments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Secondly
, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can be a more interactive experience for the user.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
for instance
, on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
websites are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
linked to a
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
feature which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you grasp even the menial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
by watching video coverage on the
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
.

On the other hand
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of turning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
increasingly
consumed in their mobile or computer screens. It actually disconnects them from the real
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inconsiderate of their surrounding and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them who may be in need of immediate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Another damaging effect of depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is related
to deterioration of
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one`s
health. Excessive exposure to
brightly
lit screens can
severely
damage
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one`s
eyesight and may lead up to the problem of impaired vision.
For example
, the Times recently reported that more than 65%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have a weaker eyesight due to incessant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cell phones and laptop screens.

In conclusion
, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
portals has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lack of attentiveness towards the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and damaging health hazards are among the potential detrimental effects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay With the advent of social media, more people are getting their news online instead of from print media. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for people who read news online. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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