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Essay Question: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Essay Question: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 2
Most individuals are of the view of that social networking websites like Facebook are tremendously detrimental to the people and the community. In my opinion, I believe that besides the negative impacts of these websites they can be beneficial in some cases also. Using social networking platforms can harm an individual in more than one ways. People, at present, spend too much time surfing these sites and are unable to apply themselves to what is more important, such as work and studies. As a result, the overall productivity of an individual is afflicted which eventually, more often than not, leads to lower job prospects at workplaces and poor grades in academics. Social media platforms can have negative impacts on the society as a whole as well. Social media users of a community are much less concerned about their surroundings and people around them who might be in an immediate need of help. They are living in their own social circle which creates a sense of deprivation among other members of the community. Moreover, these networking sites are often exploited by some extremists who actively launch anti-state campaigns. These are the biggest sources of spreading social unrest within a community. Finally, in my view, these platforms can also be used for the betterment of an individual and the society as a whole. Leading news agencies are linked with these networking sites and users can stay updates of latest news and political developments around the globe. Additionally, as a whole, social activists can start social groups on these websites which are oriented towards the welfare of state and its dwellers. As an example, there are active Facebook groups which aim at the settlement and well-being of new immigrants in Canada. In conclusion, apart from negative effects of social networking platforms, they can also be used constructively for individuals and whole communities.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are of the view of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites like Facebook are
tremendously
detrimental to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. In my opinion, I believe that
besides
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of these websites they can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
also
.

Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
can harm an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
in more than
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one way", "a way", or simply "ways"?
one ways
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, at present, spend too much time surfing these sites and are unable to apply themselves to
what is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, such as work and studies.
As a result
, the
overall
productivity of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is afflicted
which
eventually
, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, leads to lower job prospects at workplaces and poor grades in academics.

Social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the society as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media users of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
are much less concerned about their surroundings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them who might be in an immediate need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. They are living in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
circle which creates a sense of deprivation among other members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Moreover
, these networking sites are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exploited by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extremists who
actively
launch anti-state campaigns. These are the biggest sources of spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
unrest within a community.

Finally
, in my view, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the betterment of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and the society as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
. Leading news agencies
are linked
with these networking sites and users can stay updates of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
news and political developments around the globe.
Additionally
, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activists can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
groups on these websites which
are oriented
towards the welfare of state and its dwellers. As an example, there are active Facebook groups which aim at the settlement and well-being of new immigrants in Canada.

In conclusion
, apart from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
, they can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
constructively
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay Question: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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