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Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. Discuss both options and include your opinion with relevant examples from v.4

Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. 4
It is irrefutable that nowadays, youngsters has their own ability to take a decision to themselves to achieve their goals for their future, However, others believe that they need some assistance from their parents or teachers to make comfortable life for their future. I am of the opinion that this matter should be debated before any conclusion can be drawn. To begin with, in this modern era, adolescent have so much talent and they are doing lot of innovations on their regular routine life. In addition to this, compare to old decades people has done lot of hard work but they have lacked how to be smart but this generation people are very smart about their jobs. Specially, technology made them to be smart and think about their carrier path, people can google it and they can get online course to learn whatever they like to do to set it. For example, In United States, around 744% youngsters are making decision themselves with out any dependencies. On the other hand, some people believe that parents can only set it up all amenities for their son/daughter about their future because they don' t know what is correct or what is wrong but parents has lot of experience and they can drive their children to achieve their dreams. Secondly, youngsters mostly spend their time with tutor so tutor can give guidance to make their life easily and they know about positive and negative about student so they can easily drive them to achieve their goals. For instance, In Japan, some youngsters are doing home schooling because they are comfortable with their parents and they feel parents only can able to set their environment smoothly. To conclude this, parents and teachers guidance important for adolescent to make their future. however, they have to think themselves analyse it and apply their dreams to convert in to success. " This is our life we have to make it and get all the experience. Also, experience make a man perfect.
It is irrefutable that nowadays, youngsters has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ability to take a decision to themselves to achieve their goals for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
However
, others believe that they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assistance from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or teachers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. I am of the opinion that this matter should
be debated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any conclusion can
be drawn
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in this modern era, adolescent have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talent and
they are doing
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
innovations on their regular routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
to this, compare to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
decades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
done
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have lacked how to be smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart about their jobs.
Specially
, technology made them to be smart and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their carrier path,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can google
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
online course to learn whatever they like to do to set it.
For example
, In United States, around 744% youngsters are making decision themselves
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
any dependencies.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
set it up all amenities for their son/daughter about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t know what is correct or what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they can drive their children to achieve their dreams.
Secondly
, youngsters
mostly
spend their time with tutor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tutor can give guidance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
easily and
they know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
about student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
drive them to achieve their goals.
For instance
, In Japan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters are doing
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are comfortable with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
set their environment
smoothly
.

To conclude
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers guidance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for adolescent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
themselves
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
it and apply their dreams to convert in to success.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; This is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the experience.
Also
, experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
perfect.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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