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In many cities the population is increasing. some says that urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbours and this cause a loss of community sence. What is the main problem with this what measure can be taken. v.1

In many cities the population is increasing. some says that urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbours and this cause a loss of community sence. What is the main problem with this what measure can be taken. v. 1
It is irrefutable that nowadays, people are increasing day to day life in this morden generation. They are not getting a change to spend time with their family members and they don' t even talk what are the problems in this generation people are getting in to it and how we can aviod this situation in future. Firstly, all the persons are moving to urban cities in order to get good jobs. They are getting affect in to the city life and they forcelly put in to do the morden culture in that case they are more concentrating to earn money and how they can enjoy their life in the urban cities. Even though some of them are coming to cities due to family problem and loan problem due to that their main focus to earn money and they are not even spending times with neighbours. For instance, In one of the biggest city in India that affected in to natural disaster so that moment only people knows whoever staying next to them and they helped everyone. In addition to this, there are pleathora of apartment in all the cities and childrens are not getting a place that where they can play because of that entire family members are always there in their apartment and even they will not go outside. In this scenario, children will face lot of problems like obesity. for example, my colleque who is staying in city and both are working in IT, they generally comes from school at 4 pm after that he plays only computer games wiyh out soend time with their friends. Finally, he faced lot of health issues. To summarize this, government has to responsible to create awarness about the city life culture and hoe to invest time wiyh their family members and neighbours. People also has to understand that money only not enough for our life oue need always good friends, good health and good circumstance so that we can grow up with out any issues.
It is irrefutable that nowadays,
people
are increasing day to day
life
in this
morden
generation. They are not getting a
change
to spend
time
with their
family
members and
they
don&
#039; t even talk what are the
problems
in this generation
people
are getting in to it and how we can
aviod
this situation
in future
.

Firstly
, all the persons are moving to urban
cities
in order to
get
good
jobs. They are getting
affect
in to the city
life and
they
forcelly
put in to do the
morden
culture
in that case
they are more concentrating to earn money and how they can enjoy their
life
in the urban
cities
.
Even though
some
of them are coming to
cities
due to
family
problem
and loan
problem
due to that their main focus to earn
money and
they are not even spending
times
with
neighbours
.
For instance
, In one of the biggest city in India that
affected
in to natural disaster
so
that moment
only
people
knows
whoever staying
next
to
them and
they
helped
everyone.

In addition
to this, there are
pleathora
of apartment in all the
cities
and
childrens
are not getting a place that where they can play
because
of that entire
family
members are always there in their apartment and even they will not go outside. In this scenario, children will face
lot of
problems
like obesity.
for
example, my
colleque
who is staying in city and both are working in IT, they
generally
comes
from school at 4 pm after that he plays
only
computer games
wiyh
out
soend
time
with their friends.
Finally
, he faced
lot of
health issues.

To summarize
this,
government
has to
responsible to create
awarness
about the city
life
culture and hoe to invest
time
wiyh
their
family
members and
neighbours
.
People
also
has to
understand that money
only
not
enough
for our
life
oue
need always
good
friends,
good
health and
good
circumstance
so
that we can grow up
with out
any issues.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay In many cities the population is increasing. some says that urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbours and this cause a loss of community sence. What is the main problem with this what measure can be taken. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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