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Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. Discuss both options and include your opinion. v.3

Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. v. 3
What these days are crucial is that people at the transition period must choose their future occupations. In one hand some believe that parents and adults are the most efficient guide to leading be a prosperous person, however, others indicate that young people who are well-informed about themselves are the finest. I maintain that both ideas have their positive and negative aspects which will be addressed in this essay. Whether teachers, parents or any kind of people who have a role in nurturing and upbringing are the determining people to make a decision about the students and children jobs or not is a controversial argument. Firstly, proponents claim that students and pupils do not know how to deal with difficulties in future and how to tackle them. Secondly, regarding cost of living, experts indicate that all students must select lucrative jobs and it is impossible to convince without teachers and parents choices. Although, in some cases, facts and figures show that the chosen carrier could be deficient if they select it based on their sentimental and emotional values. On the other hand, some sociologists come up with this reason that it should be better for children to be responsible for their future jobs. Firstly, the most important point in future life is motivation, they said. If students distinguish and recognize what kind of opportunities is suitable for them, they will try harder to achieve their goal. Secondly, all the jobs traverse the universities, so students when enter colleges and select field of studies, they choose the future job spontaneously. But the opponents say that according to science and technology courses, most of the students are going to train majors which are overwhelmed by older students and society needs diverse carriers. In conclusion, it is true that future jobs can be vital for students’ lives. But, what is crucial in choosing an occupation for students is that with regard to proven evidence a good job will emerge through consulting among students and their caregivers such as parents and teachers.
What these days are crucial is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the transition period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
occupations. In one hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and adults are the most efficient guide to leading be a prosperous person,
however
, others indicate that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are well-informed about themselves are the finest. I maintain that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
have their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects which will
be addressed
in this essay.

Whether teachers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a role in nurturing and upbringing are the determining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or not is a controversial argument.
Firstly
, proponents claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and pupils do not know how to deal with difficulties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and how to tackle them.
Secondly
, regarding cost of living, experts indicate that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
select lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and it is impossible to convince without teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
choices. Although, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, facts and figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the chosen carrier could be deficient if they select it based on their sentimental and emotional values.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sociologists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with this reason that it should be better for children to be responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Firstly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
life is motivation, they said. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
distinguish and recognize what kind of opportunities is suitable for them, they will try harder to achieve their goal.
Secondly
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
traverse the universities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when enter colleges and select field of studies, they choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
spontaneously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the opponents say that according to science and technology courses, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are going to train majors which
are overwhelmed
by older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and society needs diverse carriers.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can be vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, what is crucial in choosing an occupation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is that with regard to proven evidence a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will emerge through consulting among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their caregivers such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays young people have to make the decision about their future career. Some people, however, believe that teachers and parents can make a better choice for their future career. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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