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nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is positive or negative development. v.4

nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is positive or negative development. v. 4
it is true that youngsters usually admire the stars in a variety of fields including sports. Although some of sports stars seta negative example, the rest of them have an impact on young generation positively. There are a number of reasons why sports idols are more likely to be good examplars than detrimental ones. From the individual perspective, athletes are the icon for relentless endeavours within training process. In order to become national or famous athletes, they have to undergo thousands of hours practicing and training under the stressful and intensive level. Forexample, paralympic games in which disable athletes compete with each other to bring the honours and glories for their countries, Athletes with disability need to overcome illnesses, injuries within training courses and especially defeat the inferiority to become extraodinary. in addition, from the social perspective, sports stars also bring the moral lessons for adolescents. They do the humanitarian such as philanthropic activities and charitable donations for non profit government organizations which aim to help impoverished or deprived people. For instance, Luis Suarez who is the famous football players of bacerlona club has generated his own organization to support street children to go to school and supply the daily basis for them in conclusion, behind the success of sports idols is the consistent effort throughout a long period. They deserve, therefore, to be the shining icon for young generation can be able to learn from them.
it
is true that youngsters
usually
admire the stars in a variety of fields including
sports
. Although
some
of
sports
stars
seta
negative
example, the rest of them have an impact on young generation
positively
.

There are a number of reasons why
sports
idols are more likely to be
good
examplars
than detrimental ones. From the individual perspective,
athletes
are the icon for relentless
endeavours
within training process. In order to become national or
famous
athletes
, they
have to
undergo thousands of hours practicing and training under the stressful and intensive level.
Forexample
,
paralympic
games in which disable
athletes
compete with each other to bring the
honours
and glories for their countries,
Athletes
with disability need to overcome illnesses, injuries within training courses and
especially
defeat the inferiority to become
extraodinary
.

in
addition, from the social perspective,
sports
stars
also
bring the moral lessons for adolescents. They do the humanitarian such as philanthropic activities and charitable donations for
non profit
government
organizations which aim to
help
impoverished or deprived
people
.
For instance
, Luis Suarez who is the
famous
football players of
bacerlona
club has generated his
own
organization to support street children to go to school and supply the daily basis for
them


in
conclusion, behind the success of
sports
idols is the consistent effort throughout a long period. They deserve,
therefore
, to be the shining icon for young generation can be able to learn from them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is positive or negative development. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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