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Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1
In the modern society, youngsters often look up to well-known entertainers and athletes. Many people believe that these celebrities are not good role models for young individuals. Thus, they are concerned about the influence of such admiration. From my perspective, whether that idolisation is beneficial or detrimental depends merely on the young generation’s attitudes. On the one hand, youngsters’ adoration towards celebrities can bring about several positive effects to themselves. First of all, individuals who are selective will filter out all the negative characteristics and only opt for good traits in famous figures to emulate. This consciousness ensures that adolescents will not blindly reduplicate improper actions from celebrities. For example, even though singer Michael Jackson was involved in several allegations, his talent, perseverance and work ethic still inspire many youngsters around the world. Secondly, teenagers can also take valuable lessons from their idols’ mistakes. Since celebrities’ actions are often publicized, adolescents have the opportunities to observe various examples of misconducts and learn from them. For instance, upon hearing the doping accusation of Louis Armstrong, many of the biker’s fans realize that there is no shortcut which leads to success and honesty should be of paramount importance. On the second hand, idolizing entertainers and sportsmen may result in adverse effects. To begin with, since most adolescents are malleable, bad examples from celebrities can develop moral issues in them. Many teenagers who look up to Hollywood figures such as Paris Hilton believe that they should pursue a glamorous, material life with parties and nightclubs. Other celebrities like Kim Kardashian present a wrong message to the young generation, suggesting that using scandals and PR stunts are the most effective methods to gain attention and be successful. Furthermore, there are considered to be better role models for the young to hold in high regards, such as activists or philanthropists. However, the popularity of celebrities may sway teenagers’ interest away from these individuals. To be more specific, many teenagers do not care much about politics and other social issues since their attention is solely devoted to entertaining figures. All things considered, I believe that the adoration which youngsters dedicate to media and sports stars have both strengths and weaknesses. While this admiration allows youngsters to emulate celebrities’ good traits and draw a lesson from their mishaps, it also develops moral issues in them and takes the spotlight away from the more deserving role models.
In the modern society, youngsters
often
look up to well-known entertainers and athletes.
Many
people
believe that these
celebrities
are not
good
role models for
young
individuals.
Thus
, they
are concerned
about the influence of such admiration. From my perspective, whether that
idolisation
is beneficial or detrimental depends
merely
on the
young
generation’s attitudes.

On the one hand, youngsters’ adoration towards
celebrities
can bring about several
positive
effects to themselves.
First of all
, individuals who are selective will filter out all the
negative
characteristics and
only
opt for
good
traits in
famous
figures to emulate. This consciousness ensures that adolescents will not
blindly
reduplicate improper actions from
celebrities
.
For example
,
even though
singer Michael Jackson
was involved
in several allegations, his talent, perseverance and work ethic
still
inspire
many
youngsters around the world.
Secondly
,
teenagers
can
also
take valuable lessons from their idols’ mistakes. Since
celebrities’
actions are
often
publicized, adolescents have the opportunities to observe various examples of misconducts and learn from them.
For instance
, upon hearing the doping accusation of Louis Armstrong,
many
of the biker’s fans realize that there is no shortcut which leads to success and honesty should be of paramount importance.

On the second hand, idolizing entertainers and sportsmen may result in adverse effects. To
begin
with, since most adolescents are malleable,
bad
examples from
celebrities
can develop moral issues in them.
Many
teenagers
who look up to Hollywood figures such as Paris Hilton believe that they should pursue a glamorous, material life with parties and nightclubs. Other
celebrities
like Kim Kardashian present a
wrong
message to the
young
generation, suggesting that using scandals and PR stunts are the most effective methods to gain attention and be successful.
Furthermore
, there
are considered
to be better role models for the
young
to hold in high regards, such as activists or philanthropists.
However
, the popularity of
celebrities
may sway
teenagers’
interest away from these individuals. To be more specific,
many
teenagers
do not care much about politics and other social issues since their attention is
solely
devoted to entertaining figures.

All things considered, I believe that the adoration which youngsters dedicate to media and sports stars have both strengths and weaknesses. While this admiration
allows
youngsters to emulate
celebrities’
good
traits and draw a lesson from their mishaps, it
also
develops moral issues in them and takes the spotlight away from the more deserving role models.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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