Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance from the screen (laptop, etc, . . ) and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance from the screen (laptop, etc, . . ) and no need to watch it live. v. 1
There is no room for doubt that as the 21st century unfold, the flourishing of technology with the emergence of many cutting-edge devices creates more choices for human life than ever, especially in the entertainment industry. Many people, who are fond of enjoying performances indirectly via some internet-based methods, believe that watching by their own eyes is unnecessary. In my viewpoints, I advocate that online watching in some ways can be deemed more flexible and comfortable, but attending a live performance brings about its own benefits. On the one hand, it is understandable why, these days, more and more viewers would like to opt for screen-based devices as the best way of following entertaining channels. First and foremost, people can take pleasure in any concert whenever they want, as opposed to depending heavily on the time of performances. This point is rooted in the fact that most people, nowadays, have been living in a rush, and thus, their hectic lives and jam-packed schedules have not enabled them to freely join and revel in any show with a fixed and explicit timetable. Furthermore, watching movies, displays, concerts and suchlike through internet-based tools such as laptops, phones can be able to reduce a great deal of stress for traffic systems and some relevant public facilities like movie theatres, amusement centres and so forth. Concomitantly, numerous people having an interest in movies, for instance, can enjoy efficiently in a better way via the internet without feeling overwhelmed in crowded places. On the other hand, I suppose that people, sometimes, need to attend a live performance because only by this way, they can truly exposure to the atmosphere among shows, the feeling of other audiences. Joining together in a show can make people enhance their social bonds as they could mutually and openly share their emotions and opinions. Besides, they can be likely to gain more joy, excitement and satisfaction thanks to the peer and domino effects, contributing to relieving working stress and the pressure from the rat race among spectators. Additionally, last but not least, people, when watching a live music show, can get an insight into the original voice of singers or celebrities since nowadays, a large number of vocalists have been misusing audio processors like audio-tune to perfect their voice and manipulate listeners through the internet. In conclusion, on the basis of the above-mentioned arguments, despite the fact that many people regard watching performances for entertaining through high-tech devices as the most suitable method, humans can not devalue the advantages of attending directly a display can bring.
There is no room for doubt that as the 21st century unfold, the flourishing of technology with the emergence of
many
cutting-edge devices creates more choices for human life than ever,
especially
in the entertainment industry.
Many
people
, who are fond of enjoying
performances
indirectly
via
some
internet-based methods, believe that watching by their
own
eyes is unnecessary. In my viewpoints, I advocate that online watching in
some
ways can
be deemed
more flexible and comfortable,
but
attending a
live
performance
brings about its
own
benefits.

On the one hand, it is understandable why, these days, more and more viewers would like to opt for screen-based devices as the best way of following entertaining channels.
First
and foremost,
people
can take pleasure in any concert whenever they want, as opposed to depending
heavily
on the time of
performances
. This point
is rooted
in the fact that most
people
, nowadays, have been living in a rush, and
thus
, their hectic
lives
and jam-packed schedules have not enabled them to
freely
join
and revel in any
show
with a
fixed
and explicit timetable.
Furthermore
, watching movies, displays, concerts and suchlike through internet-based tools such as laptops, phones can be able to
reduce
a great deal of
stress
for traffic systems and
some
relevant public facilities like movie
theatres
, amusement
centres
and
so
forth.
Concomitantly
, numerous
people
having an interest in movies,
for instance
, can enjoy
efficiently
in a better way via the internet without feeling overwhelmed in crowded places.

On the other hand
, I suppose that
people
,
sometimes
, need to attend a
live
performance
because
only
by this way, they can
truly
exposure to the atmosphere among
shows
, the feeling of other audiences. Joining together in a
show
can
make
people
enhance their social bonds as they could
mutually
and
openly
share their emotions and opinions.
Besides
, they can be likely to gain more joy, excitement and satisfaction thanks to the peer and domino effects, contributing to relieving working
stress
and the pressure from the rat race among spectators.
Additionally
, last
but
not least,
people
, when watching a
live
music
show
, can
get
an insight into the original voice of singers or celebrities since nowadays,
a large number of
vocalists have been misusing audio processors like audio-tune to perfect their voice and manipulate listeners through the internet.

In conclusion
, on the basis of the above-mentioned arguments, despite the fact that
many
people
regard watching
performances
for entertaining through high-tech devices as the most suitable method, humans can not devalue the advantages of attending
directly
a display can bring.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance from the screen (laptop, etc, . . ) and no need to watch it live. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts