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Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions. v.3

Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions. v. 3
Considering the health of smokers, governments and some corporations are taking steps to restrain people from smoking publicly and in work premises. A few sections of society think that this is a positive movement of authorities, however, others argue that such initiatives will curb their freedom. In my opinion smokers should be allowed to smoke in designated areas away from public and this essay will discuss various reasons for my standpoint. Firstly, smoking significantly affects the fitness and is the biggest cause of oral and lung cancer. Even the secondhand smokers, people who inhale smoke release by smokers, are equally prone to the diseases. For example, in a country like America, designated smoking areas are built and smoking in public places is banned and fines are imposed if anyone is found using cigarettes in public place. Therefore, looking at the enormous risk, smokers and non- smokers should be segregated. However, some believed that restricting people from smoking in public and office places is an unfavourable regulation and has taken away some of their rights. Smokers argue that cigarette smoking has direct relation to their workplace performance as a result, such restrictions will disturb their daily life. For instance, it has noticed that many employees just leave the organization just because it puts high rules for a smoker. Hence, the compete restrain should not be implemented all of sudden and the smokers should be given the chance to quit the smoking habit. In conclusion, due to various health related problems, the regulations bring by many authorities will put a positive impact on society. On the other hand, if alternative smoking location made available, smoking can be banned at all public locations without making any controversy.
Considering the health of smokers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporations are taking steps to restrain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
publicly
and in work premises. A few sections of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
movement of authorities,
however
, others argue that such initiatives will curb their freedom. In my opinion smokers should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to smoke in designated areas away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and this essay will discuss various reasons for my standpoint.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
significantly
affects the fitness and is the biggest cause of oral and lung cancer. Even the secondhand smokers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who inhale smoke release by smokers, are
equally
prone to the diseases.
For example
, in a country like America, designated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
areas
are built
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places
is banned
and fines
are imposed
if anyone
is found
using cigarettes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
place.
Therefore
, looking at the enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, smokers and non- smokers should
be segregated
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believed that restricting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and office places is an
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
regulation and has taken away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their rights. Smokers argue that cigarette
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has direct relation to their workplace performance
as a result
, such restrictions will disturb their daily life.
For instance
, it has noticed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it puts high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for a smoker.
Hence
,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'compete' is correct. If 'compete' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the compete
restrain should not
be implemented
Consider using "all of a sudden" or "all of the sudden".
all of sudden
and the smokers should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance to quit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
habit.

In conclusion
, due to various health related problems, the regulations bring by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
authorities will put a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society.
On the other hand
, if alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
location made available,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can
be banned
at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
locations without making any controversy.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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