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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.49

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 49
In this fast-paced world, Certain people are still starving due to the lack of food despite of new inventions in cultivation. This is owing to the fact that though there might be improvements in agriculture, climate change impact crops and the seasonal outcome. Furthermore, technology has to be involved in improving time for producing the yield. This essay will discuss why people are struggling to get food and how these problems can be minimized, followed by a reasoned conclusion. To begin with, farming involves different stages and each stage require stipulated time and human intervention to produce the outcome, depending on the yield. Manual steps consist of ploughing the land, sowing seeds and providing fertilizers to the crops where technology is barely involved. For instance, Cotton crop takes 6 to 8 months to collect the product and earn money for the farmers and the same land cannot be used for other crops simultaneously. If machinery is involved to reduce the turn around time of a crop, then farmer can gain money 3 to 4 times a year rather than 1 to 2. Hence, involving technology in horticulture could provide better results to people who are starving. Moreover, Global warming is the major problem people are facing these days and this has a huge impact in the field of agriculture. Due to this, there were unexpected rains and sudden rise in the earth's temperature, thus destroying the effort of the farmer and the crop. For example, growing cotton starts in the month of May and is harvested in October and unusual rain falls during this season destroy the yield and as a result farmers do not get what they invest which is ultimately causing a few people to die of hunger. If government provides awareness to people to take precautionary steps or help such people could minimize the problem to a greater extent. To conclude, improvement in automation and government aid towards the climatic disasters could help many people to fight against their hungers. Conducting many researchers in horticulture could help many farmers to greater extent.
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world, Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
starving due to the lack of food
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
new inventions in cultivation. This is owing to the fact that though there might be improvements in agriculture, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
and the seasonal outcome.
Furthermore
, technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be involved
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for producing the yield. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
food and how these problems can
be minimized
, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, farming involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages and each stage require stipulated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and human intervention to produce the outcome, depending on the yield. Manual steps consist of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ploughing
the land, sowing seeds and providing fertilizers to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
where technology is
barely
involved.
For instance
, Cotton
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crop
takes 6 to 8 months to collect the product and earn money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
and the same land cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crops
simultaneously
. If machinery
is involved
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the turn around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crop
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
can gain money 3 to 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
a year
rather
than 1 to 2.
Hence
, involving technology in horticulture could provide better results to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are starving.

Moreover
, Global warming is the major problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing these days and this has a huge impact in the field of agriculture. Due to this, there
were unexpected
rains and sudden rise in the earth's temperature,
thus
destroying the effort of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crop
.
For example
, growing cotton
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
in the month of May and
is harvested
in October and unusual rain falls during this season
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the yield and
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they invest which is
ultimately
causing a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of hunger. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides awareness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take precautionary steps or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could minimize the problem to a greater extent.

To conclude
, improvement in automation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
aid towards the climatic disasters could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to fight against their hungers. Conducting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers in horticulture could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
to greater extent.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 49

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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