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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v. 108 v.34

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 108 v. 34
It is evident that the world is becoming modern, so the residents nowadays have a lot of different choices in each field so that make people’s life more convenient and easier. I totally agree with this statement and this essay will be outlining the variety of choices for people. On the one hand, with the invention of science, technology and the innovative research, we can obtain and learn many things in the short time. Initially, if I consider the education as a sample for that we can see the benefit of the sector. Teachers and students can get their required books and documents easily and quickly by email, so it will reduce amounts of money due to the cost of books in some countries are very high. Moreover, the university in several countries can also apply for students the education at home by the internet which cheap price and provide free information in any fields that people lack of. On the other hand, they also have the opportunities to choose their transportation without buying the vehicles with a high price. In the past, it seemed to very difficult to find the public transports, so it is necessary for residents to buy their own bike or car to travel. But nowadays, we can use different type of transports like subway, bus and train which allow the citizens to travel and save their money. For instance, with the increasing of technology a significant number of apps for transportation are allowed such as Grab, Bee and Uber with many promotions, so the price would be free or discounted. To sum up, the increasing of hi-tech, education and transportation, which are one of many choices in nowadays, have residents’ life more convenient. But there are also have a lot of choices for them to choose.
It is evident that the world is becoming modern,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the residents nowadays have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in each field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life more convenient and easier. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and this essay will be outlining the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, with the invention of science, technology and the innovative research, we can obtain and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in the short time.
Initially
, if I consider the education as a sample for that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the benefit of the sector. Teachers and students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their required books and documents
easily
and
quickly
by email,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
amounts of money due to the cost of books in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
Moreover
, the university in several countries can
also
apply for students the education at home by the internet which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price and provide free information in any fields that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lack of.

On the other hand
, they
also
have the opportunities to choose their transportation without buying the vehicles with a high price. In the past, it seemed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to find the public transports,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is necessary for residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bike or car to travel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of transports like subway, bus and train which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the citizens to travel and save their money.
For instance
, with the increasing of technology a significant number of apps for transportation are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
such as Grab, Bee and Uber with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
promotions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the price would be free or discounted.

To sum up, the increasing of hi-tech, education and transportation, which are one of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
, have residents’ life more convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
for them to choose.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 108 v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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