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Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.13

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. v. 13
It is true that negative news such as negative situations and emergencies are more widespread on media than some good news. While I argue that excessive reports of problems are detrimental, I believe that there are some advantages to updating social problems. On the one hand, the surplus of negative articles or reports can make adverse influences on the public. Firstly, this news will lead individuals to feel panic about the society we are living in. If all the news exposed to media is negative news, ranging from crimes to natural disasters, citizens will be confused by realizing that most of the world hidden bad things. Therefore, they are likely to lose the sense of security and faith in their real life, which trigger the obstacles for establishing harmonious relationships with others in society. Secondly, by allowing uploading bad news effortless, authorities enable journalists to exaggerate information to create sensational contents to draw the reader's attention. This is an unacceptable situation because inhabitant will be falling down, especially if people read newspapers in the morning, they will tend to haunt about negative things all day long. On the other hand, in moderation, there are two main advantages of focusing on problems and emergencies. The first benefit is that when negative reports are exposed, it will raise inhabitant's awareness of social problems such as theft or robbery. Thanks for that news, readers can have precaution to bad circumstance, thus, avoid the possible risks in their life. Another perk is that by being informed immediately pressing issues, governments and local authorities can figure out the feasible and timely measures to the serious problems. Therefore, they are able to minimize pity consequences before those obstacles become more colossal. In conclusion, although bad news creates a feeling of anxiety and discomfort to a large number of audiences, they are unavoidable in current information. The government and the citizens should learn to solve the problems and avoid the exaggerated news.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
situations and emergencies are more widespread on media than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. While I argue that excessive reports of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are detrimental, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages to updating social problems.

On the one hand, the surplus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
articles or reports can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
adverse influences on the public.
Firstly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will lead individuals to feel panic about the society we are living in. If all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
exposed to media is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, ranging from crimes to natural disasters, citizens will
be confused
by realizing that most of the world hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things.
Therefore
, they are likely to lose the sense of security and faith in their real life, which trigger the obstacles for establishing harmonious relationships with others in society.
Secondly
, by allowing uploading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
effortless, authorities enable journalists to exaggerate information to create sensational contents to draw the reader's attention. This is an unacceptable situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
inhabitant will be falling down,
especially
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
read newspapers in the morning, they will tend to haunt about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
things all day long.

On the other hand
, in moderation, there are two main advantages of focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and emergencies. The
first
benefit is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
reports
are exposed
, it will raise inhabitant's awareness of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as theft or robbery. Thanks for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, readers can have precaution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
circumstance,
thus
, avoid the possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in their life. Another perk is that by
being informed
immediately pressing issues,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and local authorities can figure out the feasible and timely measures to the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, they are able to minimize pity consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
those obstacles become more colossal.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
creates a feeling of anxiety and discomfort to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
audiences, they are unavoidable in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
information. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the citizens should learn to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and avoid the exaggerated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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