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Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problems and suggest some solutions v.1

Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problems and suggest some solutions v. 1
An upward trend is seen in public health due to fatness This essay will discuss the possible reasons for obesity, including lack of exercising and stress-eating due to work or personal problems. Fortunately, although these issues have led to a rise in corpulence, there are ways we can solve this problem, including gaining an active lifestyle and adopting stress management techniques. People are working more hours than before nowadays, which leaves them with a very little amount of time for personal development activities. In addition, this work pressure leads to stress-eating in some people. People place themselves under such unfavourable environments because it is a competitive domain. People are not aware of what they are eating in these stressful hours. For instance, A recent study found that people in the USA have stressful jobs that lead to eating junk food and stress-related sicknesses. This often results in people getting fat because of the stress and the lack of time to exercise. Maintaining a stress-free life and improving one's attitude towards exercising are both critical to mitigating heftiness problems. People need to adapt to a healthy lifestyle and exercise regularly as a routine. For example, Recent research concluded that people that exercise daily and have a healthy diet do not suffer from being heavy. In conclusion, people are increasingly suffering from obesity. This essay not only discussed how obesity is caused by the absence of exercises and thereby a bad diet, but also suggested that the solutions to these problems are twofold- to maintain a good and healthy diet and to work out daily.
An upward trend is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in public health due to fatness This essay will discuss the possible reasons for obesity, including lack of exercising and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-eating due to work or personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Fortunately
, although these issues have led to a rise in corpulence, there are ways we can solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, including gaining an active lifestyle and adopting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
management techniques.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are working more hours than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
nowadays, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of time for personal development activities.
In addition
, this work pressure leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-eating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
place themselves under such
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
environments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a competitive domain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are not aware of what they are eating in these stressful hours.
For instance
, A recent study found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the USA have stressful jobs that lead to eating junk food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related sicknesses. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and the lack of time to exercise.

Maintaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free life and improving one's attitude towards exercising are both critical to mitigating heftiness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to adapt to a healthy lifestyle and exercise
regularly
as a routine.
For example
, Recent research concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that exercise daily and have a healthy diet do not suffer from being heavy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
increasingly
suffering from obesity. This essay not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discussed how obesity
is caused
by the absence of exercises and thereby a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
diet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
suggested that the solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are twofold- to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and healthy diet and to work out daily.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problems and suggest some solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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