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Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.12

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. v. 12
Nowadays, news about serious issues in all nations across the globe has gained increasing popularity. While it is believed that the dominance of tragic news can result in the deterioration of our society, I advocate that advantages this kind of news brings to us are also of great importance. There are some sound reasons why the lack of positive news has some adverse effects on our lives. The first reason is that it causes great distress to citizens. For example, if people, particularly senior citizens, have to expose to a lot of information on crimes, including snatch theft or homicide, they will be prone to mental illnesses such as depression and lose belief on everyone, which leads to the loss of the sense of community. Other than that, news about those who have overcome setbacks for the sake of their success motivates people to pursue their passion. This is because individuals, especially children and teenagers, can adopt their positive attitudes to make efforts and achieve their goals. On the other hand, people can reap great benefit from negative news for compelling explanations. First of all, it helps people become well-prepared in cases of emergency. The reason is that people have easier access to reliable statistics and follow the proper precautions with a view to preventing not only themselves, but also the society from pandemics such as nCoV-19 or Ebola and catastrophes. Moreover, this kind of publications is also a rational method to heighten citizens’ awareness of global issues consisting of the destruction of the environment or the increasing crime rate. For instance, photos of shrinking habitats or fatalities which are the consequences of violating traffic laws can act as a deterrent to actions deteriorating the environment and would-be law breakers. All in all, not only tragic but also welcomed news plays essential roles in our society; therefore, people are entitled to be informed both of them.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about serious issues in all nations across the globe has gained increasing popularity. While it
is believed
that the dominance of tragic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can result in the deterioration of our society, I advocate that advantages this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
brings to us are
also
of great importance.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sound reasons why the lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The
first
reason is that it causes great distress to citizens.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
particularly
senior citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
expose to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information on crimes, including snatch theft or homicide, they will be prone to mental illnesses such as depression and lose belief on everyone, which leads to the loss of the sense of community. Other than that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about those who have overcome setbacks for the sake of their success motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pursue their passion. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals,
especially
children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, can adopt their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitudes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts and achieve their goals.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reap great benefit from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for compelling explanations.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become well-prepared in cases of emergency. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have easier access to reliable statistics and follow the proper precautions with a view to preventing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society from pandemics such as nCoV-19 or Ebola and catastrophes.
Moreover
, this kind of publications is
also
a rational method to heighten citizens’ awareness of global issues consisting of the destruction of the environment or the increasing crime rate.
For instance
, photos of shrinking habitats or fatalities which are the consequences of violating traffic laws can act as a deterrent to actions deteriorating the environment and would-be law breakers.

All in all, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tragic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
welcomed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
plays essential roles in our society;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are entitled
to
be informed
both of them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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