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Nowadays, the world is developing at a very rapid pace and we are constantly forced to make a lot of choices that can affect the rest of our lives. Do you agree or disagree with the idea that should always ask someone else for help when we need to make an v.2

Nowadays, the world is developing at a very rapid pace and we are constantly forced to make a lot of choices that can affect the rest of our lives. with the idea that should always ask someone else for help when we need to make an v. 2
The choices we make today can profoundly affect our future. we often take decision precipitately without thinking about the consequences, this is where an experienced person can help in making the right choice. personally, I believe that one should always take suggestions from others. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, not all problems we face are unique, which means that someone had been in the similar situation in their life. Hence, someone can definitely guide us to tackle the situation efficiently. The student, being a novice always struggles in making decision about his life, this is where elders can help the student to make the right choice. For instance, recently, I was confronted with a dilemma of making the choice between giving time to studies or to my girlfriend. I ruminated a lot but could not make a solid decision. As a result, I shared my issue with my father who gave me the most intelligent advice, which made me maintain a good relationship as well as good grades. If I would have not asked my father about the solution, then I would have severely lost in one case. Secondly, most of the times by taking suggestions from our seniors we can learn the tactics they have applied in their life, which will make our problems easier to resolve. being our senior they must have discovered some efficient methods of dealing with mishaps in life, like by what attitude we should face life, how to deal the workload etc. , utilising the strategies taught by seniors we can make our lives manageable and easier to live. my personal experience is a compelling example of this. Last year, when I was newly recruited to the company, I was able to make good connections with my seniors. As a result, I get to know many important details to excel in the company like how to impress my boss, how to handle the work he give etc. The tactics which my seniors taught till today is very helpful to me while working. Therefore, I believe asking from seniors for help can make it resolve easily. In conclusion, I strongly belive that one should not solve his problems alone. this is because others can always give the best advice to come out of problems and because sometimes seniors can teach you strategies to solve the problem more efficiently.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can
profoundly
affect our future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take decision
precipitately
without thinking about the consequences, this is where an experienced person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I believe that one should always take suggestions from others. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
we face are unique, which means that someone had been in the similar situation in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Hence
, someone can definitely guide us to tackle the situation
efficiently
. The student, being a novice always struggles in making decision about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, this is where elders can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the student to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
.
For instance
, recently, I
was confronted
with a dilemma of making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
between giving time to studies or to my girlfriend. I ruminated a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a solid decision.
As a result
, I shared my issue with my father who gave me the most intelligent advice, which made me maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades. If I
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would have
not asked my father about the solution, then I would have
severely
lost in one case.

Secondly
,
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
by taking suggestions from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
we can learn the tactics they have applied in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
easier to resolve.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
being
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have discovered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
efficient methods of dealing with mishaps in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, like by what attitude we should face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, how to deal the workload etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
the strategies taught by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
manageable and easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
personal experience is a compelling example of this. Last year, when I was
newly
recruited to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, I was able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
connections with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
.
As a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
to excel in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
like how to impress my boss, how to handle the work he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gives", "gave".
give
etc. The tactics which my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
taught till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to me while working.
Therefore
, I believe asking from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it resolve
easily
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that one should not solve his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
alone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
others can always give the best advice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
can teach you strategies to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
more
efficiently
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, the world is developing at a very rapid pace and we are constantly forced to make a lot of choices that can affect the rest of our lives. with the idea that should always ask someone else for help when we need to make an v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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