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Essay topics: TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to sup v.1

Essay topics: TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to sup v. 1
Money is not an ideal thing that should be left on a child' s hand and there are myriad factors should take into consideration before parents allow their children to handle money. In my opinion, in the process of became a financially responsible adult children does not need to handle their money and parents should not allow it. First of all handle money could be problematic and sometimes, even adults cannot control money properly. Children need time to grow and they learn from their experience in different situations. There are multiple things already going on their life, they face new technologies and science invention on a quotidian basis. Today' s children are not only studying but they have to learn many things in their lives, like attain a computer class or other extra-curriculum activity in sense of tackle their daily struggle. And diverting their minds toward money in order to become responsible adults could be onerous to them. Money can affect people’s physiological behavior and sometimes complex the situation and relationships with others. Handling money needs a lot of consciousness and this burden can hinder the growth of children. This could affect a child' s normal mental and physical growth and their behavior towards society could be changed in a detrimental way. As children are not mature enough and might not understand the value of money, they could spend their money in a wrong way. For example, toys and sweets sometimes are more attracted things to them, and they could have spent their money on them and the situation might be worse. Money can differentiate between peoples, even adults face it. Imagine if that happened to a child, for example, not every family financially stable and in a school, a child brings a lot of money and can showoff bout that child, whose family is not that rich might face insecurities, this could be fatal for their childhood. There is always time to become a responsible adult. They might join colleges or courses like management or financial study and there are many policies that help peoples to manage their money. But first children should learn the value of money and parents should teach their children how to use the money. Peoples can argue that handling money is helpful for children. They might know the value of money by handling at a young age and start saving at the young age, which could be helpful for later. This could be true but get access a lot of money can harm children and parents can give their child a small amount of money as a pocket money to get an experience and the first step to become a responsible adult.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is not an ideal thing that should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s hand and there are myriad factors should take into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my opinion, in the process of became a
financially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
does not need to handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
it.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could be problematic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
cannot control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
properly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need time to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
grow and
they learn from their experience in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations. There are multiple things already going on their life, they face new technologies and science invention on a quotidian basis.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, like attain a computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or other extra-curriculum activity in sense of tackle their daily struggle. And diverting their minds toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
could be onerous to them.

Money can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
physiological behavior and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
complex the situation and relationships with others. Handling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
consciousness and this burden can hinder the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This could affect a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s normal mental and physical growth and their behavior towards society could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
Consider replacing "in a detrimental way" with the adverb for "detrimental"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a detrimental way
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they could spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
For example
, toys and sweets
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
sometimes are
more attracted things to them, and they could have spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on them and the situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be worse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
can differentiate between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
face it. Imagine if that happened to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
,
for example
, not every family
financially
stable and in a school, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and can showoff bout that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, whose family is not that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
face insecurities, this could be fatal for their childhood.

There is always time to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
adult. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
colleges or courses like management or financial study and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
policies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peoples
can argue that handling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
know the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by handling at a young age and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
saving at the young age, which could be helpful for later. This could be true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an experience and the
first
step to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
adult.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Essay topics: TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to sup v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
448 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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