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Do you agree or disagree parent should decide for their children s job and children should follow their parents careers v.1

parent should decide for their children s job and children should follow their parents careers v. 1
Parents often want that their children follow their wishes. As they can transmit all of their experiences to the descendants, they contemplate that their background and knowledge of a specific vocation can have major effect on their children' s prosperities. Obviously, it doesn' t act correctly in the real world and children are impressed by their own interests and they prefer to make the decisions on their own. In fact, if parents make attempt just to give some necessary advice to their children about their important actions, they can definitely provide more help. First, interest is the best teacher for being successful. Persons are motivated with their interests and never feel exhausted during their ways. It should be given to young generations the chance of selecting the majors and jobs on their own. I remember when I wanted to opt for my major as landscape architecture; my family wasn’t pleased at that time. I insisted on my decision and could pass tremendous steps as to my field. I have been in the lead during all the time of university and now, I am motivated to spend plentiful hours on my draws and projects. Subsequently, I am positive about my great achievements in my future career as architecture after graduation and getting my Ph. D. degree. Second, when individuals make their significant purposes and intentions on their own, they have more sense of responsibility. I know from my cousin, who be decided by his father for working as a mechanic, that now he is trying to change his job into newspaper reporter. Even though he could gain numerous skills in his works, he describes that his job has become boring for him. He feels regretful for all his past years working as a mechanic and now at the age of thirty-two tries to apply for a news reporter position. Finally, I interpret that forcing children to follow their parent' s request means wasting of money and time. Students should decide about their jobs based on their interest. In this way, they feel more responsible and independent over their occupation' s issues.
Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
want that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow their wishes. As they can transmit all of their experiences to the descendants, they contemplate that their background and knowledge of a specific vocation can have major effect on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
Possible spelling mistake found.
prosperities
.
Obviously
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t act
correctly
in the real world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are impressed
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
interests and
they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the decisions on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. In fact, if parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
attempt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary advice to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
actions, they can definitely provide more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
is the best teacher for being successful. Persons
are motivated
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and never feel exhausted during their ways. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to young generations the chance of selecting the majors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. I remember when I wanted to opt for my major as landscape architecture; my family wasn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
at that time. I insisted on my decision and could pass tremendous steps as to my field.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have been in the lead during all the time of university and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I
am motivated
to spend plentiful hours on my draws and projects.
Subsequently
, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
about my great achievements in my future career as architecture after graduation and getting my
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "Ph.D.".
Ph. D.
degree.

Second, when individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their significant purposes and intentions on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they have more sense of responsibility. I know from my cousin, who
be decided
by his father for working as a mechanic, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
into newspaper reporter.
Even though
he could gain numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in his works, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has become boring for him. He feels regretful for all his past years working as a mechanic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
at the age of thirty-two tries to apply for a news reporter position.

Finally
, I interpret that forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to follow their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s request means wasting of money and time. Students should decide about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. In this way, they feel more responsible and independent over their
Possible spelling mistake found.
occupation&
#039; s issues.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay parent should decide for their children s job and children should follow their parents careers v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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