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Nowadays, the world is developing at a very rapid pace and we are constantly forced to make a lot of choices that can affect the rest of our lives. Do you agree or disagree with the idea that should always ask someone else for help when we need to make an v.1

Nowadays, the world is developing at a very rapid pace and we are constantly forced to make a lot of choices that can affect the rest of our lives. with the idea that should always ask someone else for help when we need to make an v. 1
From the early history, the communication was the most needed requirement among the societies. There has been changed and enhanced by mankind. In the modern communities, the people have found a different form to connect to peers with media such as book, radio and television. However, all media has no influence as similar as others due to most of drawbacks and benefits. The book was the historical communication from the ages. Thus, most of the people prefer book for basic education or entertainment. However, crafting the book is very complicated and destructive from the onset. For instance, paper, glue and ink are the basic supplements for the crafting a book and all supplements consume natural resources. In contrast, the people claim that books are the best way to keep the information for the other generations. Unfortunately, there is not enough to spread information rapidly. The radio is a different acceptable way to spread info via using voice and sounds. In the beginning of the 19th, the people could communicate with the radio after the invention. Every night, people gathered around the radio and heard the news. Today, there are a considerable options in the media. Because the invention does not include complex part and convenience of crafting method. However, the data flow to one way. So that, most of people do not choose listening radio. The television is invented in the mid 19th. Most of people attended that technology due to visual feature. Currently, The television is placed in the hub of the house of the household because of countless channel and diversity. Therefore the audience can find a suitable channel according to preferences. However, most of the people suffer which is the addition of the TV set habit. In conclusion, all media have benefits and drawbacks. But, some media tools have an effect on our lives. Radio and TVs are preferred by huge communities. However, except radio, the TV more suitable to spread information than other media tools due to addiction and visual feature.
From the early history, the communication was the most needed requirement among the societies. There has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and enhanced by mankind. In the modern communities, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have found a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
form to connect to peers with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and television.
However
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has no influence as similar as others due to
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the drawbacks") or simply say "most drawbacks".
most of drawbacks
and benefits.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
was the historical communication from the ages.
Thus
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
for basic education or entertainment.
However
, crafting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated and destructive from the onset.
For instance
, paper, glue and ink are the basic supplements for the crafting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and all supplements consume natural resources.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the information for the other generations. Unfortunately, there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to spread information
rapidly
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
acceptable way to spread info via using voice and sounds. In the beginning of the 19th, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could communicate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
after the invention. Every night,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gathered around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and heard the news.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there are a considerable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "option"?
options
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the invention does not include complex part and convenience of crafting method.
However
, the data flow to one way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not choose listening radio.

The television
is invented
in the mid 19th. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attended that technology due to visual feature.
Currently
, The television
is placed
in the hub of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of the household
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of countless channel and diversity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the audience can find a suitable channel according to preferences.
However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer which is the addition of the TV set habit.

In conclusion
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have benefits and drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
tools have an effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Radio
and TVs
are preferred
by huge communities.
However
, except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, the TV more suitable to spread information than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
tools due to addiction and visual feature.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, the world is developing at a very rapid pace and we are constantly forced to make a lot of choices that can affect the rest of our lives. with the idea that should always ask someone else for help when we need to make an v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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