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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.4

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 4
Conversation is an integral part of our life. There are both pros and cons of communication using machines, as we will discuss both further. In the last few decades, digitalisation has grown in leaps and bounds. There are many means of transmission of conversation, which one can use to communicate across the globe. For example instant messages, telephone, email, and face chat by which one can communicate to person from another continent. During the earlier period, message delivery was carried out by using paper and pen which was not only time-consuming but also tedious. Place of paper and pen have been superseded by emails and instant messages. Globalization of the business has flourished under advanced devices. It has resulted in reduction in decision taking time which in turn provided a faster implementation of the worked-out plan. It has reduced time of money transfer from one bank to another. Conversely, technology has created distance between the people. Today, people are connected via gadgets, but are mentally miles apart from each other. Nowadays, children have become addicted to their phones and prefer to stay alone. More closer to materialistic me Machinery has become a status snob for many. As per the survey carried out by Children Welfare Association, which says, machinery dependent contact has resulted in psychological illness which includes anxiety, aloofness, and insecurities. It has increased incidence of online hacking along with interference of unknown individuals in personal life. As per above points I advocate that, though technological transmission has made utterance transfer faster as long as, abuse of the hi-tech machine is avoided.
Conversation is an integral part of our life. There are both pros and cons of communication using machines, as we will discuss both
further
.

In the last few decades,
digitalisation
has grown in leaps and bounds. There are
many
means of transmission of conversation, which one can
use
to communicate across the globe.
For example
instant messages, telephone, email, and face chat by which one can communicate to person from another continent. During the earlier period, message delivery
was carried
out by using paper and pen which was not
only
time-consuming
but
also
tedious. Place of paper and pen have
been superseded
by emails and instant messages. Globalization of the business has flourished under advanced devices. It has resulted in reduction in decision taking time which in turn provided a faster implementation of the worked-out plan. It has
reduced
time of money transfer from one bank to another.

Conversely
, technology has created distance between the
people
.
Today
,
people
are connected
via gadgets,
but
are mentally miles apart from each other. Nowadays, children have become addicted to their phones and prefer to stay alone.
More closer
to materialistic me Machinery has become a status snob for
many
. As per the survey carried out by Children Welfare Association, which says, machinery dependent contact has resulted in psychological illness which includes anxiety, aloofness, and insecurities. It has increased incidence of online hacking along with interference of unknown individuals in personal life.

As per above points I advocate that, though technological transmission has made utterance transfer faster as long as, abuse of the hi-tech machine
is avoided
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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