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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.29

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 29
As the years have passed by, our technology keeps improving into high definition. Hence, it also changes how people interact with one another. Nowadays, most people communicate through social media, they keep updated on the news through the internet, which results the positive and negative development of a person. Technology affected the types of relationships people make like, getting into a relationship. Now it's easy to find a partner or a date in the internet. We lose our confidence to approach a stranger in real life. If people are spending their time more on social media, they will be unconnected to the outside world. People will now start rejecting plans to go out with friends and more. Technology is also one of the reasons of suicide and cyber-bullying. People on the net don't think twice before bashing one person. It is true that using the technology will make our life easier since it has ways to find a solution in anything but using gadgets will pull us down because of our addiction to it. In conclusion, people need to control themselves from using too much technology and should spend more quality moment outdoors with friends and family. One of the solution is to spend your time without any gadgets, it will help you to find your own identity. Spending time in real life will help you grow as a better person rather than reading toxic comments from people on the net. It's better to surround yourself with positive thoughts so it will give you positive emotions and vibes for the rest of the day.
As the years have passed by, our technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
improving into high definition.
Hence
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact with one another.

Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate through social media, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
updated on the news through the internet, which results the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development of a person.

Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the types of relationships
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
like, getting into a relationship.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it's easy to find a partner or a date
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
. We lose our confidence to approach a stranger in real life. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending their time more on social media, they will
be unconnected
to the outside world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
rejecting plans to go out with friends and more.

Technology is
also
one of the reasons of suicide and cyber-bullying.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
on the net don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
bashing one person. It is true that using the technology will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life easier since it has ways to find a solution in anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
using gadgets will pull us down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our addiction to it.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to control themselves from using too much technology and should spend more quality moment outdoors with friends and family. One of the solution is to spend your time without any gadgets, it will
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help you find"?
help you to find
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity. Spending time in real life will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you grow as a better person
rather
than reading toxic comments from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the net. It's better to surround yourself with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thoughts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will give you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
emotions and vibes for the rest of the day.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 29

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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