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Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion. v.3

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion. v. 3
Certain people argue to announce the death penalty for the major crimes that make people wild. Whereas, the rest of the mass opposes by saying that is not fair to give such harsh punishment in this modern world. Firstly, this essay will discuss how hard punishment contributes to descend the unusual activities among the public and secondly, how death penalty leaves criminal family with struggle. Lastly, state the opinion partially as, the death penalty should be based on various crimes not just for the violent offence. On the one hand, the death penalty makes people frightened regarding breaking the law, whether it is the first time or second time. As a result, there would be less crime reported. That will make public afraid free of living in the area. For example, The Iran police department records report that there has been almost 90 decreases in the major crime because they have the death penalty law for it. On the other hand, the cons of the death penalty is the loneliness of the law breaker's family. When there is only one person capable to earn for the family, the family feels helpless after losing their back bone. This would either force them to go on a wrong track and at the end they also become offenders. For Example, as per the crime, rehabilitation centre report, 60% of the lawbreaker's fundamental reason is that they are forced to get into this field as their elders did not get an another chance of survival. From my point of view, the death penalty should be regarding the level of offences. Because, this method is in the favour of changing the people's views and be an aid to someone's life. In conclusion, death penalty undoubtedly offers a numerous benefits to the civilians, however, before enforcing the new law about the violent crime, regime has to think about the less violent activities which deserve the second chance to change themselves. This approach would be successful if it gets all the citizen's support.
Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue to announce the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
for the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wild.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the rest of the mass opposes by saying
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to give such harsh punishment in this modern world.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
punishment contributes to descend the unusual activities among the public and
secondly
, how death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with struggle.
Lastly
, state the opinion
partially
as, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
should
be based
on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.

On the one hand, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
frightened regarding breaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
, whether it is the
first
time or second time.
As a result
, there would be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
reported. That will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
public afraid free of living in the area.
For example
, The Iran police department records report that there has been almost 90 decreases in the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
for it.

On the other hand
, the cons of the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is the loneliness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
breaker's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. When there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person capable to earn for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
feels helpless after losing their back bone. This would either force them to go on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
they
also
become offenders.
For Example
, as per the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
report, 60% of the lawbreaker's fundamental reason is that they
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into this field as their elders did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a chance" or "another chance".
an another chance
of survival.

From my point of view, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
should be regarding the level of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, this method is in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's views and be an aid to someone's life.

In conclusion
, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
undoubtedly
offers a numerous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "benefit"?
benefits
to the civilians,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enforcing the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
about the violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, regime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the less violent activities which deserve the second chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
themselves. This approach would be successful if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
all the citizen's support.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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