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It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.14

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 14
Technology is developing so fast in recent years. Although, many believe that with the growth of technology traditional culture will lose their identity. However, others might think that automation and fashion are totally mismatched. I believe that modern high tech can affect the classic trend of customs. Most of the cities are trying to adopt the modern changes which are happening in urban areas and it is related to the fashion industry. Nowadays, everything is becoming more compact in size with the help of newly innovated machines and computers. For an example, people used to wear sarees in the past years, but now everyone is trying to fit into foreign arts which includes jeans and T-shirts. Most people prefer that because it is comfortable and easy to wear. In result of this, people feel more convenient wearing the latest clothes rather than traditional outfits. Moreover, there were old trend of printing design on the materials by using natural paint and drying with the help of sunlight. But now advance tools are available in the market and all the work is done by the use of computers and their visual effects. For an instance, in India one of the most famous saree material called "Badhani" is made by a group of people manually and colour also done by the team, because of this reason material used to last for years and colour never use to get fed. Whereas, today nobody buys that because everyone is using high tech printers which affects the quality of products. That's how it is affecting the old tradition of the country. As I have mentioned earlier, there is a relation between revolutionary machines and lifestyle diversity. I totally agree that growing technology can affect the traditional values of any country. But with the time everything needs to get updated except certain things which shows the original identity of the place from where you belongs.
Technology is developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
in recent years.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that with the growth of technology traditional culture will lose their identity.
However
, others might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that automation and fashion are
totally
mismatched. I believe that modern high tech can affect the classic trend of customs.

Most of the cities are trying to adopt the modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which are happening in urban areas and it
is related
to the fashion industry. Nowadays, everything is becoming more
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
compact in size
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
newly
innovated machines and computers. For an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wear sarees in the past years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
everyone is trying to fit into foreign arts which includes jeans and T-shirts. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is comfortable and easy to wear. In result of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more convenient wearing the latest clothes
rather
than traditional outfits.

Moreover
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
trend of printing design on the materials by using natural paint and drying with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of sunlight.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
advance tools are available in the market and all the work
is done
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and their visual effects. For an instance, in India one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saree material called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Badhani
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is made
by a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
manually
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
also
done by the team,
because of this
reason material
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to last for years and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
never
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fed. Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
nobody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone is using high tech printers which affects the quality of products. That's how it is affecting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
tradition of the country.

As I have mentioned earlier, there is a relation between revolutionary machines and lifestyle diversity. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that growing technology can affect the traditional values of any country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the time everything needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated except certain things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the original identity of the place from where you
The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "belong"
belongs
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. with this view? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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