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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.27

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 27
It is true that in the contemporary world way of communication has changed because of the advancement in technology. There are various ways which have impacted the relationships. I believe that improvement has both negative and positive outcomes. In my opinion, the development in technology has affected relationships among people in many ways. First and foremost, businessmen can spread their business throughout the globe, can attend their meetings online with their employees without physical interactions with the help of social networking sites, it was impossible in the past. Moreover, Skype has created new opportunities for teachers and students, to illustrate, students can take online video classes from foreigner tutors without going abroad. Last but not least, individuals can interact with them quickly who live in other countries by social networking websites, such as Facebook as well as they can make new online friends. Due to several reasons I think that technology is extremely positive. As, in these days communication with other countries is possible, that was not possible in the days of letters because they took long time to reach. What is more, if there is no availability of technology, e-learning may not be possible, that has proven a boon for those students who live in remote areas, and unable to attend classes in colleges or universities. There are several reasons why progress in technology has had detrimental impacts. The first reason is that young people allocate most of their time with online friends and do not participate in community programs or spend time with family members, it paves the way disjoint the societies and make people isolated. The second reason is that youngsters give more preference their online friends rather than real friends, causes real relationships are no longer. To conclude, technology has revolutionized communication in several ways, I think that growth has both benefits and demerits.
It is true that in the contemporary world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of communication has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
which have impacted the relationships. I believe that improvement has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes.

In my opinion, the development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
relationships among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
First
and foremost, businessmen can spread their business throughout the globe, can attend their meetings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with their employees without physical interactions with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of social networking sites, it was impossible in the past.
Moreover
, Skype has created new opportunities for teachers and students, to illustrate, students can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
video classes from foreigner tutors without going abroad. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, individuals can interact with them
quickly
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in other countries by social networking websites, such as Facebook
as well
as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
friends.

Due to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. As, in these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
communication with other countries is possible, that was not possible in the days of letters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they took long time to reach.
What is more
, if there is no availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, e-learning may not be possible, that has proven a boon for those students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in remote areas, and unable to attend classes in colleges or universities.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has had detrimental impacts. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
allocate most of their time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
friends and do not participate in community programs or spend time with family members, it paves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
disjoint the societies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
isolated. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that youngsters give more preference their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
friends
rather
than real friends, causes real relationships are no longer.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has revolutionized communication in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that growth has both benefits and demerits.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 27

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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