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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.23

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 23
It is true that new technologies have changed how people communicate with one another. The advancements in technology not only bring benefits but also cause some negative impacts to our lives. In the past, it took long time to deliver messages from a sender to a receiver because people had to physically travel to the destination. Now individuals can use mobile phone services and instant messaging software such as Skype and Google Talk to contact their family and friends across vast geographical distances. This change has reduced a lot of time consumption and travel costs. For example, video conferencing technology helps businessmen attend a conference remotely without temporary travel limitations and mobility impairment; distance-education technology allows students to take courses online without physically sitting in a classroom. However, there are also some drawbacks of telecommunications. It could be harder to explain a complex situation than face-to-face communications. Misunderstanding and conflict may occur when reading an electronic email because a person is not able to know the sender's tone, emotional cues, and body language. Additionally, excessively using modern communication tools may cause a person become antisocial and isolated. New technologies make communications simpler and faster than before. Because of that, people might not be willing to spend time on face-to-face communications. Therefore, intimate conversations and personal interactions might decrease. Individuals might not have strong social involvements in their relationships, and they will feel lonely and socially awkward. In conclusion, the great technological developments have transformed the way people keep in touch with others in various ways. It make conversations happen efficiently; however, due to the simple process, people may lose the interpersonal skills in a social setting.
It is true that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with one another. The advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In the past, it took long time to deliver messages from a sender to a receiver
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to
physically
travel to the destination.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile phone services and instant messaging software such as Skype and Google Talk to contact their family and friends across vast geographical distances. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time consumption and travel costs.
For example
, video conferencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
businessmen attend a conference
remotely
without temporary travel limitations and mobility impairment; distance-education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
students to take courses online without
physically
sitting in a classroom.

However
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of telecommunications. It could be harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
a complex situation than face-to-face communications. Misunderstanding and conflict may occur when reading an electronic email
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a person is not able to know the sender's tone, emotional cues, and body language.
Additionally
,
excessively
using modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
tools may cause a person become antisocial and isolated. New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
communications simpler and faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not be willing to spend time on face-to-face communications.
Therefore
, intimate conversations and personal interactions might decrease. Individuals might not have strong social involvements in their relationships, and they will feel lonely and
socially
awkward.

In conclusion
, the great technological developments have transformed the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with others in various ways. It
Did you mean "makes"?
make
conversations happen
efficiently
;
however
, due to the simple process,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may lose the interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a social setting.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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