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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.37

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 37
Human beings are the social creatures and are unable to survive without interacting with each other. But at this day and age, the way of interactions has been changed due to the emergence of technology. Technology has affected the lives of individuals' relationships in both positive and negative aspects. Firstly, the technological advances have led to the increased affordability of the gadgets like mobile phones, laptops and iPads, due to which communication has become effortless. Because of the mobiles, one can talk to their loved ones at any time. Secondly, the internet evolution has shortened the distances among people. For instance, a family member or friend living outside can easily contact at any time using the various internet applications. Moreover, the social networking sites such as Facebook, Whatsapp help not only to keep in touch with the old and current friends but also in finding new relationships. Therefore, it can be said that the technology leads to the stronger connections among the folks and impacted their life in various good means. On the flip side, there are plenty of negative consequences of the technological developments. First of all, the cell phones have made people such addicts that individuals are now unable to feel the presence of others around them. This is dragging them away from real relationships like that of parents. The second thing is that the youngsters are living fake lives over the social media and running away from their actual lives. Furthermore, they no longer need anyone as they are so busy in updating their status and waiting for the reactions. Consequently, there is no doubt in saying that the computational advancements have a lot of bad influences over the relationships. Finally, it can be stated that the latest technologies have significantly altered the communication among individuals. Although, hi-tech progresses have brought the mankind closer, but simultaneously create a void in their hearts.
Human beings are the social creatures and are unable to survive without interacting with each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at this day and age, the way of interactions has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to the emergence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of individuals' relationships in both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

Firstly
, the technological advances have led to the increased affordability of the gadgets like mobile phones, laptops and iPads, due to which communication has become effortless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the mobiles, one can talk to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones at any time.
Secondly
, the internet evolution has shortened the distances among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, a family member or friend living outside can
easily
contact at any time using the various internet applications.
Moreover
, the social networking sites such as Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in finding new relationships.
Therefore
, it can
be said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
leads to the stronger connections among the folks and impacted their life in various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
means.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of the technological developments.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the cell phones have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such addicts that individuals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
unable to feel the presence of others around them. This is dragging them away from real relationships like that of parents. The second thing is that the youngsters are living fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
over the social media and running away from their actual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, they no longer need anyone as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy in updating their status and waiting for the reactions.
Consequently
, there is no doubt in saying that the computational advancements have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influences over the relationships.

Finally
, it can
be stated
that the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have
significantly
altered the communication among individuals. Although, hi-tech progresses have brought the mankind closer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
simultaneously
create a void in their hearts.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 37

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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