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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development? v.15

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 15
Improvement in technology has changed the way we communicated. It affected the type of interaction people has now compared to the past, now they are making virtual friends and contact on the internet. It is often debated that what type of evolution it is. Some say it is a negative advancement due to distance it created among them. In my opinion, this is a positive advancement because they can talk with others in respective of distance. To begin with, the type of relation between people has been changed due to technology. In the past, humans met with each other and that's how they talked and become friends. However, now a days with the improvement of technology, they meet various unknown people via social media app like Facebook and Whatsapp and become virtual friends. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey, the majority of people agree that the type of accord has been changed due to the automation. Some argued that this advancement has detrimental effects as they hardly meet with each other. Now all conversation happened on phone via various social media apps which creates the gap between people and they get a very less chance to get one-to-one communication. However, others, including me, believe that, this is a positive development as it gives chance people to communicate with friends and relative in respective of the gap. We have many friends and relatives who settled in abroad, technology gives an opportunity to talk with them which was not possible in the past. To conclude, technology changed the sort of relationship as people are more into making virtual friends. Some people thought this was a negative advancement as it creates gaps between people, however others, including me, believe this is a positive improvement as it gives us a chance to communicate with friends in respective of distance.
Improvement in
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technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we communicated. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
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type
of interaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
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now
compared to the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
they are making virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and contact on the internet.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated that what
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type
of evolution it is.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
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advancement
due to distance it created among them. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can talk with others in respective of distance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. In the past, humans met with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and that's how they talked and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
However
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
with the improvement of
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technology
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
various unknown
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people
via social media app like Facebook and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
and become virtual
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friends
. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of accord has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to the automation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argued that this
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advancement
has detrimental effects as they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with each
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other
.
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Now
all conversation happened on phone via various social media apps which creates the gap between
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
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get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less chance to
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get
one-to-one communication.
However
, others, including me, believe that, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as it gives chance
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people
to communicate with
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friends
and relative in respective of the gap. We have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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friends
and relatives who settled in abroad,
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technology
gives an opportunity to talk with them which was not possible in the past.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the sort of relationship as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more into making virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
this was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
as it creates gaps between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
others, including me, believe this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
improvement as it gives us a chance to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in respective of distance.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 15

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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