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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? v.1

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? v. 1
Even though there are concrete reasons leading to the substantial increase in TV watching, and thus, decline in leisure activities amidst children, I opine that implementable solutions for this negative trend exist. It is initially obvious why the rate of children, keeping watch towards TV broadcasts is mushrooming, and this is due to the television attraction aimed at drawing its viewers. In this way, children pay full and long-term attention not only to conventional and their age-related telecasting, but also to age-limited content – pornographic illustrations, since there is no parental control over their interests. Following this, educational, sports or creative perspectives are another underlying factor contributing emphatically to the favour of youngsters. As the afore cited spheres have ceased their impact on the young generation, as can be seen, they have embarked on engrossing into sedentary activities, but not into creativity or recreational occupation. Therefore, the bottom line is not exactly about revealing the skyrocketing number of children engrossing into watching television, but is about the revision of the impetus of this overwhelming trend. Turning to the specific approaches to mitigate this issue, the censorship is the paramount panacea, in which TV programs should be reformed, precisely, the mass media should broadcast only educational, intellectual or interactive blueprints aimed at flourishing the creativity and intention of children. As a great illustration, as children are on the way of ripening, it is a straightforward task to draw their attention. However, if provided solutions how to alter their habits turn out to be ineffectual, the forced averting from TV shows is another remedy to tackle this challenge. And this can be done exclusively by parents who are the only ones, adept at bringing reversal to children’s life. Thus, they can restrict a child’s watching time interval. In conclusion, although the popularity of constant watching television remains undiminished, the balance should be maintained by the collaborative efforts of both parents and media.
Even though
there are concrete reasons leading to the substantial increase in TV watching, and
thus
, decline in leisure activities amidst
children
, I opine that implementable solutions for this
negative
trend exist.

It is
initially
obvious why the rate of
children
, keeping
watch
towards TV broadcasts is mushrooming, and this is due to the television attraction aimed at drawing its viewers. In this way,
children
pay full and long-term attention not
only
to conventional and their age-related telecasting,
but
also
to age-limited content
pornographic illustrations, since there is no parental control over their interests. Following this, educational, sports or creative perspectives are another underlying factor contributing
emphatically
to the
favour
of youngsters. As the
afore
cited spheres have ceased their impact on the young generation, as can be
seen
, they have embarked on engrossing into sedentary activities,
but
not into creativity or recreational occupation.
Therefore
, the bottom line is not exactly about revealing the skyrocketing number of
children
engrossing into watching television,
but
is about the revision of the impetus of this overwhelming trend.

Turning to the specific approaches to mitigate this issue, the censorship is the paramount panacea, in which TV programs should
be reformed
,
precisely
, the mass media should broadcast
only
educational, intellectual or interactive blueprints aimed at flourishing the creativity and intention of
children
. As a great illustration, as
children
are on the way of ripening, it is a straightforward task to draw their attention.
However
, if provided solutions how to alter their habits turn out to be ineffectual, the forced averting from TV
shows
is another remedy to tackle this challenge. And this can
be done
exclusively by parents who are the
only
ones, adept at bringing reversal to
children’s
life.
Thus
, they can restrict a child’s watching time interval.

In conclusion
, although the popularity of constant watching television remains undiminished, the balance should
be maintained
by the collaborative efforts of both parents and media.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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