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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
Presently, human interaction has evolved due to technology. As with everything else in this world, the outcome is good and bad. Ironically, advancement of communication devices which are designed to bring people closer together, isolates individuals as well. Looking at the upside of change, close bonds between friends and family members have grown closer. No longer does one have to wait until physically meeting up to catch up on each others lives. Telling the loved one the day's events is a click away. For instance, a photo of lunch on instagram, a location share on whatsapp etc. are just a few conveniences which have brought people together. Additionally, loved ones who are maintaining long-distance relationships don't have to interact with the postman anymore. Video calling via Skype and numerous other apps are filling the void that is typical for a strained geographically unfavourable relationship. Furthermore, professional relationships at the workplace are more effective and productive. This is because, an opinion from an appropriate person at times of troubleshooting can be arranged in minutes, if not locally, then internationally. If there is an upside, rest assured there will be a downside as well. Certain individuals who find communication in the real world to be hard, have found comfort in the virtual world. Nearly every need imaginable can be brought to the doorstep by ordering online by websites such as amazon. Therefore, the need for human interaction is not vital. Moreover, such people have formed communities in the virtual world, making old-fashioned relationships obsolete. In conclusion, modern day technology has made the globe a smaller world by strengthening connections. However, simultaneously, creating individuals who don't seek relationships outside of their computers.
Presently
, human interaction has evolved due to technology. As with everything else in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the outcome is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
Ironically
, advancement of communication devices which
are designed
to bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
closer together, isolates individuals
as well
.

Looking at the upside of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, close bonds between friends and family members have grown closer. No longer does one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait until
physically
meeting up to catch up on each others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Telling the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one the day's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is a click away.
For instance
, a photo of lunch on
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
, a location share on
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
etc. are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few conveniences which have brought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
together.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones who are maintaining long-distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact with the postman anymore. Video calling via Skype and numerous other apps are filling the void
that is
typical for a strained
geographically
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
Furthermore
, professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
at the workplace are more effective and productive. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, an opinion from an appropriate person at times of troubleshooting can
be arranged
in minutes, if not
locally
, then
internationally
.

If there is an upside, rest assured there will be a downside
as well
. Certain individuals who find communication in the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, have found comfort in the virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Nearly
every need imaginable can
be brought
to the doorstep by ordering online by websites such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
.
Therefore
, the need for human interaction is not vital.
Moreover
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have formed communities in the virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
obsolete.

In conclusion
, modern day technology has made the globe a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
by strengthening connections.
However
,
simultaneously
, creating individuals who don't seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their computers.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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