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Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 1
It is believed that individuals have no role to play when the topic of environmental improvement is concerned, as it is thought that only huge industries and government can effect a change. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this notion. Analysing the role of the masses in carrying out proper waste disposal techniques as well as their ability to curb the excessive use of petroleum products will be used to elucidate this claim. To start with, since many solid wastes seen in our surroundings are disposed off from households, good waste disposal practices is the responsibility of the people. By dumping gabbages in a sanitary manner, a cleaner atmosphere can be achieved from the grassroot level, which is composed mainly of the common people. For example, residential estate leaders in Lagos now frequently hold monthly meetings with discussion focusing on maintaining and sustaining a cleaner and dirt-free environment. Therefore, although, it might appears that government and big factories own the finances required to alleviating environmental conditions, the input of individuals in terms of decent thrashing of waste is paramount. Furthermore, petroleum derivatives that contributes to environmental degradation are used by the people and can only be halted by them. These energy sources are fossil fuels that produce tons of toxic gases when used, with subsequent environmental pollution. Individuals can boycott these products for better eco-friendly alternatives such as solar energy and hydroelectric powers in order to prevent further deterioration of our planet. Thus, while it may seems that the leaders and multi-investment business bodies pool the resources to protect the human space, individual contributions are inevitable. In conclusion, after examining the impacts of the members of the public in imbibing a better waste disposal methods as well as curtailing the use of petroleum-based energy sources, it is clear that individuals rather than the politicians and rich businesses are the forerunners in the development of a healthy environment.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have no role to play when the topic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
improvement
is concerned
, as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
huge industries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can effect a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this notion.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the role of the masses in carrying out proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
disposal techniques
as well
as their ability to curb the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of petroleum products will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to elucidate this claim.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in our surroundings
are disposed
off from households,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
disposal practices is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. By dumping
Possible spelling mistake found.
gabbages
Consider replacing "in a sanitary manner" with the adverb for "sanitary"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a sanitary manner
, a cleaner atmosphere can
be achieved
from the grassroot level, which
is composed
mainly
of the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, residential estate leaders in Lagos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
frequently
hold monthly meetings with discussion focusing on maintaining and sustaining a cleaner and dirt-free environment.
Therefore
, although, it might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "appear"
appears
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
the finances required to alleviating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
conditions, the input of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in terms of decent thrashing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is paramount.

Furthermore
, petroleum derivatives that contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be halted
by them. These energy sources are fossil fuels that produce tons of toxic gases when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, with subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
pollution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
can boycott these products for better eco-friendly alternatives such as solar energy and hydroelectric powers in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
further
deterioration of our planet.
Thus
, while it may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "seem"
seems
that the leaders and multi-investment business bodies pool the resources to protect the human space,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
contributions are inevitable.

In conclusion
, after examining the impacts of the members of the public in imbibing a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
disposal methods
as well
as curtailing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of petroleum-based energy sources, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
rather
than the politicians and rich businesses are the forerunners in the development of a healthy environment.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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